still floating
diffusing
like
a
drop of black
ink
in
a glass
of
water
twirling
sinking
descending to the murky bottom
pooling in an effort to reconstitute
waiting until time and water evaporate
concentrating slowly but never regaining unity

I'm super jealous of Yusuke right now. I guess he's just one of those people who magically gets what he wants. Including a cute English boy. Haha ( Read more... )

Wow - I'm so confused ( Read more... )

I don't have the energy right now to do a 2009 in review entry, but I do have some thoughts and feelings about the new year. I seriously feel like Carrie Bradshaw...constantly asking questions that incessantly enter my mind. Questions about love and romance and boys. Stupid boys ( Read more... )

I might have finally found someone after two emotionally painful and lonely years since breaking up with Jeff, it turns out to be a farce. The boy I met last weekend, Yuusuke, started making out with this other boy right in front of me last night. Last weekend, He was kissing me - yes HE was initiating it. And he said how he wanted to get to know ( Read more... )

I am not going to summarize the events of the past six months. I will say that it has been mostly rewarding. Now, though, I am (I think) no longer a "newbie" here in Japan, but nor am I an old hat quite yet. Thus, I am in limbo. In fact, this quite describes my mood equally as well as it describes my general state this month. I thought I would have ( Read more... )

I am primarily moving to Japan for a job. After being unemployed for the past five and a half months, it's about time and it's about time I found something that I actually want to do, rather than settling on some boring desk job. But am also moving to escape my life here in Laguna Beach, here in California, here in my mom's home, here in Orange ( Read more... )

In preparation for my departure to Japan, I sold my truck today. In a way, it is a relief, but it feels strange and the absence of my vehicle if still surreal. It left me wondering if I am really ready for the enormous change I am about to undergo. Despite the irrational emotion of doubt, I know that I am ready. Still, despite my eagerness and ( Read more... )

I feel so juvenile sometimes. I feel socially inexperienced compared to my friends and peers. And I'm just a stupid boy, despite all my complaints about the other stupid boys.

I've been wondering lately: where do friends and relationships come from? Is it possible to find a nice guy and have a relationship without sex as a prerequisite? If you're ( Read more... )

but I just wanted to write down some of my feelings at the moment ( Read more... )