Luke, I am your...MOTHER!!

[clockwork_hands]

I must be croaky this morning. I get a call from Seb's doctor, and I tell the doctor Seb's not in. "Oh, are you his mother?" says the doctor innocently. I respond with, "no, I'm his fiance" and expect an embarrassed apology, but the doctor says nothing of it and just keeps talking about Seb's appointment

Comments

[silverblue]

Talk about egos taking punches - I weighed myself last night because my DDR fitness mat can calculate how much energy I'm burning by dancing if it knows my height and weight. 70 kilos. And I want to be 50...Good Goooooohhhhd. No wonder mum keeps making hints about my weight :/

Don't worry about cooking. Seriously. It's just practice. Probably a part of my weight issue is that I do a lot of cooking, and I have a million (a conservative estimate!) cooking books. And all it is, is practice. I had disasters in the first five years or so out of home, now I can tackle pheasant breasts wrapped in proscuitto, asian steam fish, take fillets off a chicken carcass and use a cleaver to cut leg and breast bones apart, and all the rest. I still suck at beef roasts - they never quite come out tender enough :/

[clockwork_hands]

I can't do beef. I think the worst of last week's kitchen muckups was the beef stew I attempted. I was, seriously, so unbearably rank that I couldn't even eat it. I mean - the beef was grey. And the meat was just crumbling apart like clumps of dust. Foul. Amazingly, Seb still ate the whole damn thing, so one of my saving graces is that he's not fussy. Seb is actually the best cook here, but he's been ill lately, so I've been trying to take over without much success.

Anyway, only a brick wall wouldn't be able to detect mum's issue with people's weight. She's always had it. I could say stuff, but ehhh. I'd like to think my poor cooking keeps my weight down, but we just had a Nandos open here. And it's seriously, seriously about 70 metres from our door. So that's not helping. Seb and I also invested in an exercise bike last year, but right now its only function is to stare disapprovingly at us whenever we eat takeaway in the living room...

[silverblue]

If you can cope with the stirring, risotto is always awesome. It's damn cheap and can be made to taste like amazing stuff with very little meat. Invest in a single smoked chicken breast and make it last three nights in risotto. Add artichoke hearts, homemade sundried tomatoes, etc, or some grilled capsicum...what I _really_ need is something to automatically clean my oven!

For cheap, and if you're exhausted, spinach leaves, a little smoked salmon or thin normal steamed chicken stirred through light cream cheese on pasta is good.

I've never made much that's good with beef.

I never really thought about mum's issue with weight - I really did think she was just picking on me 'cause I'm pudgy now, but then she does pick on my hair and clothes too. Alas, I am still a goth!

The DDR mat reckons I did the equivalent of swimming 1.3 kilometers last night, so we'll see if it...like...works.

[clockwork_hands]

If you can cope with the stirring, risotto is always awesome.

We have rice too...don't suppose you could send me a recipe if you have one around?

Mum only really ever picked on my hair. I have since cut it short, and I just know she will attribute that to her influence. o_O. For the record, it looks way better short and I wish I'd done it years ago (guess it's always hard to take that step to chop off something you've had since highschool).

[silversanti]

It your my mother then you owe me 22 years of birthday and xmas presents. get started!! XP

[clockwork_hands]

Arrgh, I knew you'd say something about that title!!

[footyfoot]

What is it exactly you are trying to cook that comes out so badly? Or is it every conceivable type of grub? Just curious...

[clockwork_hands]

Pretty much any food that's not instant! >:(

I think I need some good recipes, too.

[footyfoot]

I'll have to write down the recipe for Ed's never-fail mashed potatoes, then. Simple to do, and never lumpy. Part of the problem can be the recipes themselves- a surprising number of them are simply no good, even for an expert. I've found so many that were obviously never really tested in a real-world kitchen- and funny enough, the more you pay for the book the worse they often are.
If you lived here, I'd say subscribe to Cook's Illustrated magazine, as they pretty much write recipes at a toddler level. Among other things they tell you exactly why a step can or can't be skipped, and how many batches they ruined by trying different approaches. Since I'm the kind of guy who's always trying to simply, it helped me out quite a bit in the beginning. They do have a website, though. You might pick up something from it. And as for the beef stew you mucked up- how did you do the beef? Did you brown it beforehand, or just lob it in the boiling liquid? Was it cubed or ground? I'm curious as to how stew meat turns out that bad...

[clockwork_hands]

I'd just like to point out that I have been known to ruin pasta.

You know, the dried stuff you boil.

[yellowblacktrip]

You sounds lovely and don't let anyone tell you or make you think otherwise.

[clockwork_hands]

Aww. How schweet!

[yellowblacktrip]

I'm waiting for Mr. L (you know, you met him last night) to get back so I can chat to him. The doctor wasn't much help. He gave me some pills so hopefully they'll help somewhat. I feel like I need a break from this. I am not going to let this beat me. But right now I just need a break. :/

[clockwork_hands]

I am on the gmail. Your ma called...

[uraniagc]

yeah i can add to the 'give you simple recipes' group. If it isn't simple - I wont make it.

Risotto -easy
sushi - easy
that rice dish I make -easy
home made pizza - easy
buritos (veggie style) - easy, and I made that one up!
bruchetta (sp?) - easy
tabouleh - easy
that noodle dish that Luke and I invented - easy!

If any sound appetising let me know.

[clockwork_hands]

We already have your pizza one, will have to try it again...

Tabouleh sounds nice. What's in the bruschetta?