wow. i don't remember the last time i wrote in this, but this is everything that has happened lately that needs to be remembered (only by myself, really ( Read more... )

bullshit

I have loved you from afar,
and turn sick and silly.

Like the laborer tending the sweet earth, 
I harvest a coy yet amorous belonging
from the blossoms of your eyes.

Yet all of this is far, distant, over there;
Love has commanded me, soldiered me, torn me
and my heartstrings to another tune,
a rhythm of reason.

I cannot, in this lifetime, tell you a ( Read more... )

rejected
cheated on
lost

yeah, that's about all.

i don't even understand what is going on right now. i went running in the rain today in attempt to clear my head, and it worked, temporarily.

everything is falling apart and it is beyond my control.

on a more exciting note, sacramento was the most fun i've had in years, although now it seems like a catalyst.

help.

i am finally making some changes in my life. i want to feel like i have some control and i am doing it. and you'll notice. i think physical change leads to an increase in confidence, so that is my plan of action. luckily, i have the most supportive boyfriend i could ever ask for, so even though this will be hard, he will make it so much easier ( Read more... )

UC Berkeley: sent ( Read more... )

we had to write a sonnet ( Read more... )

i served my hour of detention today and i served it like a true rebel child should: i wore my princeton sweatshirt and i did my AP Stats homework. Needless to say, I would have felt very out of place had the room not been filled with half of the band ( Read more... )

this is so scary, but my consistent happiness tends to persuade my fears to remain unspoken. my social life appears to have made a 180-degree turn, but reflecting on the past year, i realize maybe things haven't changed all that much afer all. i am so thrilled.

this is such a weird feeling. it's like everything i've felt for the past 10 months suddenly does not apply at all. then again, perhaps it's just my logical half trying to protect my emotional half. maybe this story will finally have an ending. but really, does a story ever end?