so adrienne reminded me about livejournal yesterday and pointed out that i dont post anymore, and its true, i dont post anymore - but ill make this one exception ( Read more... )

just curious, who still reads all of this?... because here seems like a different life for me. and now, sitting down again, it feels as though this moment which has been frozen in time waiting has melted away and now  sends those impulses, and drives my fingers to tap at the small letter keys. and for a moment i type unconsciously. and i wade in ( Read more... )

i'm afraid of spiders and of the dark and even now, i won't venture into my basement alone. i'm afraid both of failure and of success.

but above all else, i'm afraid that you don't, won't, or no longer love me. because i don't feel worthy of your love. because i am like everyone else that you never knew and never cared about. i have nothing to make ( Read more... )

4:44 anyone?

is anyone awake at 4:28 am?

i just realized tonight that this year i almost died, twice.

... and yet some days i still wish wasnt here.

there is a huge part of me that misses my insane perfectionism i once had. there is a great sense of accomplishment that comes at 2 in the morning when you've been working all night. i suppose in many respects i miss the person i once was, i know i had my problems and all, but having been attempting to come to terms with them all this year has ( Read more... )

its not that im not tired or cant sleep, i just cant bring myself to close my eyes and put my head on a pillow.

Blast from the past ( Read more... )

stolen from patty ( Read more... )