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sapphire_wolf January 20 2010, 05:16:15 UTC
Very well crafted. With each revision, I hear more of you as the storyteller. The only paragraph that seems not quite Maddy, if you don't mind constructive criticism, is the one line which you discuss the plot. It seems less refined, less you, than the rest of the piece. In fact, I am not sure what you would lose if you omitted it. It might add to the ineffably dynamic nature of our relationships.

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cmjfoxfyre January 20 2010, 16:39:21 UTC
:)
Danka, My Dear. I was looking at that, and I agree...I have this need to over explain, which waters down the pieces.
**HUGS** I love constructive criticism!!!

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