just foolishly doused myself in a masochistic bath. shaken so badly my hands are trembling.
i guess now i'm a wreck. shrivelled up and cold inside.

a little funny somehow when people say i look very tired but that's not the reason...

stop the clocks and shut the windows
there is no life here anymore

what could i say that i haven't said already?

i always try to not identify with the narrators, even though i actually do. although i can't say i identify with all of their experience, like living in certain countries or hopping around and getting married. and everyone criticizes them for being this and that, so maybe i have to admit to all of it? or maybe most of it, at least.

i guess i think ( Read more... )

hard to believe that i used to find it weird not posting about my day every day! now i find it weird posting ( Read more... )

been meaning to change my layout, finally gone from the blue monstrosity that i failed to change colour and font for!
will change the header image next time when i find something.

going to be a terribly busy semester ahead... 4 and a half more weeks!

whoa its been more than a month since i last posted anything! seems like a hugeass long time, which it is! although every day and every week seems so long, when you count in month suddenly things move a lot faster. but my theory / proposition for that is when you think about things in months you cut out everything that wasn't "important" and then ( Read more... )

am i born with a negative disposition? i don't remember being so turned towards such a cheerless state and i think i used to be optimistic. i think that was the ignorant optimism of experiences gone undaunted but of course life always disappoints (its not even my original idea) and i've found my optimism to be revealed as naviete and i have settled ( Read more... )

i wish i could be in a field where i could rely on my sense to create beautiful things. like houses and chairs and tables and night stands and lampshades and you know.. things with an elegance. when people use feeling to decide, and things that look absolutely fabulous comes out, i think its really amazing. i like music for the nice feeling it ( Read more... )