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i think he is done
done with me. it hurts. it hurts a lot. i wanted so much, and he wanted so little. i am always the one willing to pay more it seems. -
sleep...
couldn't fall asleep AGAIN last night. got about five hours, maybe... just took two hours to drift in and out of an uneasy semi-conscious state, constantly interrupted by family :( I am so sore, exhausted, and fatigued... -
Licentiously Growing Up
I went to Aletha's grave last night, or rather, this morning. I haven't been since Christmas. I guess it started to feel so... dead, like, I was talking to a load of soil. She's in my heart, I figured. And that worked fine. Works fine. Is for the best, but ya know? Sometimes you need to stand by those engraved words that sound like the name you ( Read more... ) -
Second Round of Rejected Hanging Out
alright, I thought it all out while trying to fall asleep last night ( Read more... ) -
Friendized aka What My Brother Taught Me
Ok, so I was discussing the new boy with my brother, who just moved in two days ago. Basically, branding told me, "if we went to a movie, we would just end up making out. That can't happen. At least, not for four years ( Read more... ) -
Being the only girl that makes sense
I had to reread brad henning's book to remind myself why I disagree with his view of relationships and why I am the only girl who makes sense ( Read more... ) -
more
3 am to 4 am, sat in his car and talked. He said in four years, we can make out haha :) -
hopes and dreams
Isn't it odd how, upon finding a boy to be addicted to, everything else becomes background noise? Finding q job, getting my hours in, etc etc? Gotta work on that, after all, its just a boy and they come and go and leave me only with memories and my own accomplishments and future goals. -
(Untitled)
I read some national geographic article about infatuation and the 'science' of 'love' that talked about those newly initiated into coupledom having these crazy hormonal profiles that allowed them to stay up for insane lengths of time. Well, I am not initiated, and cousin Mary says he isn't even flirting back. All the same, thank goodness for crazy ( Read more... ) -
ancient history
Went to the local gay bar last night. Basically, I ran into alethas old friend from down the block, and he was dancing there as part of his job. He asked me to go. I found out he actually just returned from Iraq. As the night went on, he got more drunk and more touchy. At the start of the night, he had made some comment about me staring at him and ( Read more... )