I Hate Taylor.

what the fuck are you trying to say? i have a split personality? you think im doing this shit on purpose? i want to fucking scream! at the top of my lungs! i want to cry so hard and laugh so hard that i want to piss my pants!!!!!!!!!!!!! yo this aint funny. im laughing and crying and dying and smiling. im fucking scared yo. fucking scared.

i am very proud of myself. i went to the bathroom to throw up.. but then thought of the pros and cons like we learn in DBT. and i left the bathroom witht he food in my stomach. i hope that happens again. i really want to get better. my mom says i still need to go to the program , but it might not be for long cause i am on the right path to getting

its official. im going to the ED program at LIJ. this fucking sux. i guess i can kiss my job and school good bye. i have to tell the manager at the store today.

i want help, but i want to do it on my own!

not go to some program full of girls that are sickly looking.. and then me.

im like fucking freaking out now. i weighed 104 at school. now i weighed 108.5

is that possible to gain weight that fast? or is it just water? or maybe different scales?

idk but i feel like dying. i really do.

today i went to throw up and i just couldnt. it was so weird. i can always at least throw up something but nothing came up. a lot of blood did tho and i am kinda scared about that. the good news is that i lost 6 lbs! i weigh 104 which is still ridiculous. but only 10 lbs to go till my stgw ( Read more... )

i really shouldnt complain that i feel sick, i mean i brought it upon myself. but anyways, i want to vent...

my throat is KILLING me. my glands are swollen and i have red marks under my eyes.

i love it and hate it at the same time...

does that make any sense?

the interview was a total bomb shell. the whole time they thought i was interviewing for some group when i was really interviewing for the Day Program. so my mom flipped out. now i have to have another interview and a physical. everyone (all therapists and doctors) think i need it and so do my parents. im beginning to think i do to. i just cant ( Read more... )

first entries are always the same!!!!!!!!!!!