Things are never stable.
But really, I wouldn't know any other way.

Last night I went to the Shoplifting show. Fuck! I was blown away. I miss going to shows and I decided I'm going to do more of that while I'm here. And even more when I move. I saw a few too many people I could have gone without seeing though. Fuck Mark and the Lemp Arts Center, but shit, I have a lot of memories attached to that place and it sort ( Read more... )

Sometimes I think I have an addiction to self-destruction. And really that sums up my entire life.

I haven't left the house in a week. Except to go to work. I'm losing my grounding here.

Maybe it's inevitable.
Maybe we've been fighting a losing battle all along.
But I've got the scars to prove I tried.
And all you have are empty remnants of everything you threw away.

The mornings after are always the worst. Can never sleep long enough to make it go away and the restless sleep endured only seems to make things worse. Spend nights on drugs. In silence. Climb the fire escape to the roof of the loft overlooking the city. Convince yourself this is beauty in decay. Really, thats bullshit ( Read more... )

I'm in Chicago. I leave this afternoon. I wish I wasn't.

Go through every emotion humanly possible in a 48 hour time period. And I am just left completely empty. I am not I. He is not he. And together we have become nothing. Our impossible strength fades away. With three words. And a kiss. Backs turned to never turn back. This is to throwing away two years of your life. And for what? I cry so much. And ( Read more... )

It was like I woke up one day and realized my entire life was a lie. And all I knew how to do from there was pick everything up in search of a little bit of truth.

New journal. New beginning. Different time. We are all someone else sometimes.