I dont know what I feel right now.  I know I feel angry and upset.  I dont know what about anymore, there are too many things at once to deal with.  I'm trying to fill my mind with some ass whole guy I know that I dont care about.  I think about him on purpose, I put myself down bcuz he doesnt like me, then contradict myself and think that he is w ( Read more... )

Y is he so deep? So everything I want? Why do I feel magnitized to his presence and so scared to feel that way? Why is it so hot that he isnt as jackass as I thought he was? Why is it that I cant have someone that really is like me? So rough on the outside, but on the inside screaming with emotion and love? Why is it that every guy completely ( Read more... )

[What is your name] Nikki ( Read more... )

I never really write in this thing anymore. Part of me doesnt want ppl to know who I am or what I do. Part of me needs to let out this guilt and anger. And as I sit in the freezing basement I feel I need to confess things, things that arent me. But a way of covering up who I am. Things that make me feel like I belong. Although, it's just some ( Read more... )

So, I havent even looked at this thing in about a year.  I think I will start doing it again though, and not go out as much.  I feel pretty shitty lately and dont really feel like going out every night anymore.  I dont know what is wrong with me but i have been in a really bad mood lately and that basically sucks. Now I just got in trouble for ( Read more... )

Today was FULL of Drama. The worst kind.  First there was the Ellen-Kyle Incident.  Chris IMed Kyle...drama,drama,drama...then his friend Ellen IMed us about it and more drama drama Im gonna fucking kill you drama.  We wanted to just fight her and get it done with, but she is scared, with good reason, so we didn't cuz she wouldnt go outside and ( Read more... )

Mood: Shitty ( Read more... )

[f r i d a y   t u r n e d   o u t   g r e a t]

with just a few mishaps.  well quite a bit of mishaps.  anyways, we ended up leaving at 8:45 and we made it to the movie in time but there were no good seats, so me and emily tried to make up a plan to get back into the theatre without them catching us.  i tried to keep the door open and unlocked with ( Read more... )

My Life Can NeVeR Just Be EaSy....

Tonight is going to be screwed up. Not royally, but a little bit.  Nicko has to work till 8:45 or something, then we wont make it to the movie at 9:10  so now we have to go at 10:00 which is kinda retarded. Emily is supposed to be home at like 11:30 and the movie would END at 11:40 so we have to get her extra time ( Read more... )

AHHH!!!! This weekend is going to be way too cool for words. I hope.  Me and Emily are going to have FUN!!!!  We are going to see The Grudge with Nicko and Hugo.  Nicko is scared cuz hes a little baby, but that is why he is so cool.   Lol.  Anyways, it is going to be so coolio.  I'm the most excited that I have ever been.  EEEEEEE!!!!! I lurrrve ( Read more... )