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My ex and I are good friends. But nobody knew how much it hurt to see him move on first. The two girlfriends he had after me didn't bother me too much. Because they were never hand in hand. Or hugging. Or just holding each other. But he's going back out with the girl who he dumped for me. And I know when I get back to school, it'll hurt. Because I ( Read more... )

I've been listening to Carpal Tunnel of Love and This Ain't A Scene It's An Arms race on repeat for over an hour. I used to loathe these new FOB songs, disliking the direction they've gone. Now I can't get them off my mind.
I guess we all just flee to the latest scenes.
My holidays have been a drag.
Not that I've told everyone.
The pointless msn ( Read more... )

          I'm dreaming, of a white, Christmas. And I'm living the dream. It's bee snowing since I've woken up this morning and I greeted it with a smile on my face. I'm sick yet again, homesick from school day two. Day one was a Friday. Then I wept over the weekend. And I'm back where I started. Guess what though? Four more school days left this ( Read more... )

It's all been confusing lately. I've been going through the papers on my bedroom floor. Unwilling to do anything with them. I found my razor underneath one pile this week. It brought back so many memories. Memories I've been trying to forget. And work past. And try to erase from my mind. Inflicting pain upon myself just because. Because I could. ( Read more... )

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And now I know I'm not okay.
I thought I was getting over you.
Finally.
I thought I was trying my best, moving on, staying strong.
But, when I saw you with her, just shortly after we were done, I couldn't help but feel envious.
I couldn't help but feel destroyed.
I couldn't help but feel betrayed. 
And what made it harder for me,
was staying friends with ( Read more... )

          Hai.
I haven't updated this in forever. I kind of just forget too. I really want to. I stopped using eljay for the longest time because I never used it, well, I don't want to just drift off again. So I'll try to keep it frequent. I've fallen for my best guy friend btw. Don't do it. It sucks. Especially when he already has a girlfriend. But ( Read more... )