Self control does not happen over night; it takes practice. The following is a list of ideas and situations that you, Megan, need to practice self control over, even in non-sober situations:

1. First, let’s discuss everything that is a no-no when it comes to drinking:

a. No more drunken phone calls

b. No more kissing of random guys. You don’t ( Read more... )

why do i hate myself so much? why do i hate on myself so much... why do i do the things i do... i miss trevor... i miss the beach... i don't know who i am, who i'm supposed to be... i don't know if the person i was the past 4 years was really me or is this really me... ugh... i miss my daddy... trevor's right, i have things to figure out, and i ( Read more... )

YESSS!!!! i cut today, felt so good... 20 cuts and i got some blood.. just a little, but i'm quickly building myself back up... ohmifuckinggoodness cutting felt *so* good!!!i was so relaxed, so outside myself for once. i was so out of it i couldn't even hold myself up... i loved it. no one can take this away from me, i control everything about this ( Read more... )

seriously, what have i become? i've started to smoke weed, i'm mixing alcohol and xanax... i'm becoming the person i never in a million years thought i would become... and on top of that i'm cutting again. i've held off (more like fought back) for almost 2 months since my little episode... but the immense saddness and emptiness within me and the ( Read more... )

you can break my heart and still make me smile, i hate you for that... you didn't take me seriously, i hate you for that... you were the icing on my bad day. i wanted to cut so bad... i did dig my nails into my arms but those marks don't last long and i want blood,wounds, some fucking scars to cherish later on... fucking a... i;m so drained of all ( Read more... )

FUCK YOU MAX, I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU... YOUR WORDS AND YOUR ACTIONS CONTRADICT ONE ANOTHER... AS YOU ARE TELLING ME YOU CAN'T BE WITH ME, YOU HOLD ME CLOSE AND KISS ON MY NECK... I HATE THIS, I HATE THE WAY I FEEL. EVERY TIME I TRY TO OPEN UP TO LOVE I'M SHOT DOWN. I DON'T UNDERSTAND. WHEN DO I GET TO MEET MY PRINCE CHARMING? WHEN CAN I HAVE A CUTE ( Read more... )

How can you protect yourself when the biggest threat to your health and wellbeing is yourself? how do you hide from yourself? is the answer found in medications? where do you turn when everything inside your head is spinning, nothing making sense? How do you shake the endless, immense sadness that weighs down your heart? will my face every truly ( Read more... )

I’m not the girl you think I am ( Read more... )

I'm such a freak; all i want right now is a series of 12 slashes on my left forearm... i'm craving this. why? i hate myself for wanting something like that. its so selfish. but i would give anything to be able to drag something sharp across the inside of my left forearm; i just want a little blood, i mostly want the wounds/scars ( Read more... )

last night had to be without a doubt the worst night of my life... from 8:30 until i passed out at 1AM i felt the most INTENSE SADNESS OF MY LIFE... i can't even describe the feeling besides intense and the fact that it felt at the time it would never end... honestly i always feel "sad" i guess you can say, or depressed, but last night was ( Read more... )