back from grandmother, grandmother's dog, kitty, my cat, three-legged dog, good dog, barking, meowing, mum, dad, farmington, old friends, old "friends", bullshit, illness, too little time, too much time, dentist appointments, road work, awkward silences, confessional letters and bad movies.

today i am feeling ill and packing and finding old things ( Read more... )

feeling sentimental. thinking of how i might feel months from now, looking back. this room. this music. every little and enormous thing that has happened to me in the past few months. it makes me want to cry and dance and laugh and cry again. heaps of confusion, but am trying not to project the future, protect the present, love what i'm doing, love ( Read more... )

in conclusion, there is an apartment in near reach. north end. beautiful. much stress surrounding the paperwork, getting things done by myself. rewarding, yet i still feel as if i am missing some key element and have somehow managed to irreversibly fuck up (though deep down i do not think that is the case). i really do hope that this works out. ( Read more... )

... must balance the fluctuation between desperate heartache and elation. .. or , if not balance , at least document it by some means...

ihopethatthiswilllastbeyondthistimethatwearegivenihopethatthiswilllastwithinthelettersandthelaughs.

planning a party.  a birthday party!

i should be asleep, but i find myself searching music and studying the dishes we dirtied from dinner.  when will it come?  i always say never, but really mean

( someday.) 

i have been feeling unwell for over a week, feeling quite ill most recently.  i hope a good trip home will be the cure-all to this ailment (and others).

what will come of this? you ask.  i do not have an answer.

apparently i remember how to make bracelets from string : green , white , black , (knots between).  my mother's day cards are going to be late, but my room is clean.  the apartment is empty except for me and t.v.  i will wait for something to happen.

(imisshim.)

displaced and confused and wondering just what to do.