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Back to your regularly scheduled programming.
Not pregnant. Miscarriage. Which is both sad and a relief, I guess. I feel guilty enough as it is, but adding in more responsibility to his plate would have been a nightmare I guess. Plus it probably would have made it difficult for him to get her back, which I'm sure he still wants to do. I don't blame him. He should still love her, it gives me ( Read more... ) -
Plot twist
So I woke up today, and my life will never be the same.
I am pregnant.
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.
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Healing
Last night I went to Walmart for dinner, but I didn't get dinner. I got clarity.
I walked in and grabbed a hand basket, and went to the produce, where I stopped short, because there he was. He didn't want to see me anymore, so I avoided him. I walked halfway down the store and slipped into an isle to pretend to look at milk. And then there he was. ( Read more... ) -
Unhappy
Tired of feeling sad. Can't switch it off right now. It's so backed up. Maybe I should take pills and make it go away and be one of those people who walk around lying all day.
I was an addiction, so he quit me.
She's 92 and everyone dies.
I am alone in the world and am unwanted.
Everyone would be fine if I wasn't here.
Even people who don't know me ( Read more... ) -
Truth
I was sitting in my car thinking today and decided that I was being ridiculous. Why would I want someone who doesn't want me back? Why waste so much time and energy and be in so much pain?
So I switched it off. And I feel better. The ability to repress has served me well. Hopefully it doesn't turn into cancer someday... But hey, we all are going to ( Read more... ) -
Stupid grin
Slept better last night. Facebook is now an uncomfortable place where I see someone daily who I want but cannot have. I can't stop following though, it's like emotional cutting. It hurts, but it's a feeling. And I miss him.
How could you not?
Getting thinner. Getting hotter. This will be easier when I feel great about myself. So fuck the shitty ( Read more... ) -
I stopped
I have a feeling I'm going to regret it, but hopefully not. I think it's better this way. I have to stop throwing myself down people's throats and just let them decide if they love me on their own.
It stings. But at least it's healing.
There are lots of secrets, too many for any of it to work. It's very unfortunate, and it's a huge loss.
My heart ( Read more... ) -
Is this sick?
I'm not throwing up... My stomach is constantly upset though. My head is killing me. I can't sleep past 6pm and I can't go to sleep without a sleep aide. I'm ridiculously stressed out.
I have a lot of things to put in order. My life is very disorganized at the moment. This is the stress. There's a list of situations in life that put you in "crisis ( Read more... ) -
To Sunshine, the one from circa 2009.
It's 2012, and it's almost over. So, this time, lets not write about a guy, focus on a guy, obsess over a guy, choose a guy, whine about a guy, or really anything about a guy. This time, Just be your fucking self. And love yourself. And be amazing. And live your damn life every day like it's your last day, and just be happy. You want to be happy ( Read more... )