I'm not supposed to be scared of anything, but i don't know where i am, i wish that i could move, but i'm exhausted and nobody understands how i feel. i'm trying hard to breathe now, but there's no air in my lungs, there's no one here to talk to and the pain inside is making me numb. i try to hold this under control, they can't help me cause no one

that eventually everyone will stop hating me. i just want things to be happy, that's all i really want.

orange and red, red and orange. I really like those two. i just painted my nails orange, red, orange, red, orange. they are great. so today was good. i ate hogies, and fried chicken. school was hell. i hate it now. and i didn't get up till 6 pm. erik's hair came out white and looks nice. my hair is black. i'm watching my cat roll around ( Read more... )

So today I didn't go to school, got to hang out with Erik all day, got a tattoo, and sat in and watched a movie. Definatly a gooooood night.

So I am hopefully getting my first tattoo tomorrow, but I am not sure yet if I will get the money. Erik and I are going to get the same, it's hard to explain exactly what it is of. So if you see me and it goes through I'll be sure to show you. Hm. How are things with me? Well school is school. And I am still unnempoloyed. Erik and I are ( Read more... )

and now it seems that i have found
nothing at all
I want to hear your voice out loud
slow it down
without it all
I'm choking on nothing
it's clear in my head
and I'm screaming for something
knowing nothing is better than knowing at all

but, don't have anyone to listen

it's killing me.

I finally feel completely happy.

I love you Erik.

I am so happy for Erik cause today he enjoyed his day and got a new car for his birthday. I know that it is what he really wants and it makes me happy to know he is. Why am I crying though. Sometimes I wonder what goes on with me and hate not knowing why things happen. I really sometimes wish I was dead, though I feel guilty for saying that ( Read more... )

Tonight was a nice night. Erik and I went and rented 28 days later, then picked up Krystal and went to watch it at Lisa's. We all watched it till about 3 then dropped Krystal off and came home. So an overall relaxing night. Tomorrow I am redying Erik's hair sexy and grey, so I have to make sure to get everything else done, but am excited to do ( Read more... )