I've been realizing for the past few months that in many ways I'm living a lie - or at the very least am experiencing a major existential crisis
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I know you're right. I used to counter-protest at abortion clinics to allow women to get through, even though I knew then that I wouldn't ever choose to have one myself. I just really do not feel it's my place to impose that decision on anyone else.
You're correct that it's hard to look past the bad stuff now that there isn't a more progressive leader challenging the perceptions. The harder part is that J has bought all of it so strongly, even to the point that he's reversed his support for gay marriage and now favors "civil unions." He's come out and said that the word marriage really can only refer to one man and one woman. He never used to be like that before and it really bothers me that he is now. He also believes that a lot of the doctrines of the Catholic faith are true in a literal sense, like the virgin birth or the resurrection. I can't wrap my head around believing that it's literally true rather than allegorical at best.
I wonder if it is part of what we used to call "convert's zeal" when I was a teenager on my way out the door of the Baptist religion? IE because the faith is new and so full of things to learn and take in, it overwhelms people so that they just accept it all and want to "do it right" because they believe that they've been living wrong and have years to make up for. That is one of the major things that broke up my parents' marriage--my mom converted and my dad did not. That being said, I don't think you have to agree with every tenet of the faith to keep going. If it means something to those around you, I don't think there is any problem with attending, even when you have doubts and are questioning things.
It is good to question. Maybe there are others in the congregation who feel similarly to you.
Who knows, maybe this guy will get transferred, too.
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You're correct that it's hard to look past the bad stuff now that there isn't a more progressive leader challenging the perceptions. The harder part is that J has bought all of it so strongly, even to the point that he's reversed his support for gay marriage and now favors "civil unions." He's come out and said that the word marriage really can only refer to one man and one woman. He never used to be like that before and it really bothers me that he is now. He also believes that a lot of the doctrines of the Catholic faith are true in a literal sense, like the virgin birth or the resurrection. I can't wrap my head around believing that it's literally true rather than allegorical at best.
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It is good to question. Maybe there are others in the congregation who feel similarly to you.
Who knows, maybe this guy will get transferred, too.
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