And yet another sleepless nite....

[confusedcrimson]

Well Christy, (since you are the only one who reads this or has my name and I have no friends that have one of these) It is yet another sleepless nite for me. I hate being me right about now. There are just so many factors in my life that are all too depressing. First: Grandpa. Second: Trying to get grandma back on her feet. (that isn't

Comments

[chastehellcat]

You shouldn't feel guilty for wanting someone special there to help you. However, if you start dating someone and you really like the person then they leave you, that will be just one more extremely depressing thing to add to your life. The thing you need is someone who has been there for you for a very long time. I say this because I know that if you introduce yourself to someone and date them at this time they may not know how to deal with all of what has happened. That is why I first went to Steven instead of going to Allen right away. Steven and I have a strong bond like brother and sister and we love each other like family. He knows the real me so I knew he wouldn't run from me when I went to him for help. I have known Allen for about 3 months now and he doesn't know yet how I act or react to certain things. Steven knows all of this and more. You need someone who has been there for you that you can just go cry to and it won't bother them. If you find someone new they may think that crying and being depressed is all you do and

Guilt...

[confusedcrimson]

That is exactly why I got to thinking about wanting someone special to be there for me but the only one who has been here for me thru all of this and even before this was Jeromey. It really hit grandma today when we got the death certificates in the mail today. It was so heart wrenching to see her in this pain. All physically, mentally, and emotionally. I don't know this is all so new to me. I don't know what to think let alone do. I haven't ate in like two days, I slept one hour in like three days. So I don't know much of anything outside of my daily routine. Nobody out here really know the "real me" except for Jeromey, but he is hard to get ahold of. I dunno. I can't think.