summary of self.

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for every bit of love i have for myself, there is a virtually equivalent amount of hate i have for myself.
this actually kind of hurts. and it's corrupting my life.
it is, however, nice to not feel numb all the time though.
let's hope this is a direction.

i feel bad for talking about someone who i don't even know, even if it's not really something negative... well... still feels weird to me. why must i stalk people at this level? i am not sure... i will get everything out of my system eventually. i just, i just need to focus on other things right now. gahhh.. why must everything happen all at once?

all i want for my birthday is to take turkish in the fall.

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all i want to do is buy more and more records online. my parents will think i'm nuts, but i just don't care! i want them!

i just wish my record player worked. maybe i should get a new one before i start buying all these.

tomorrow i am fucked.
i fuck up big time for my turkish final.
meh, i feel... very... lucid.
can i function?
will i make it tomorrow in tact? probably not?
damnit... DAMNIT!
time. time is all i really care for, yet it's the one thing i waste more than ever.
in situations like this, i can't cease to distract myself.


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I become increasing frustrated the more and more times I hear, "if you don't cry- you're dead inside" or if you don't do x, you must not be alive. Why must it be so necessary for someone to predict the emotions of a person, and then go as far to say you must not be a living/breathing/functioning human being on planet earth if you don't experience ( Read more... )

after dealing with an excessive amount of insomnia for the past week or so, last night i finally got a good night sleep. thus today i went to gym to finally get some exercise. while at the gym i decide i wanted to rent a movie or two from the library, i was thinking... Bergman's "Persona", maybe something by Buñuel...so I go to the library and ( Read more... )

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