A rogue pigeon pushed me into a ravine! My waistcoat is quite mussed but thankfully my shell remains uncracked. Oh, the treachery...should I ever shed my encasement I will treat all eggs with gentle respect, particularly those of noble carriage!

A snake in the grass ( Read more... )

I have just now taken up haiku! It is all the rage. A taste:

glorious sausage
springs fresh from plate to pocket
from pocket to heartShall I continue where I left off? I was staring at a sausage ( Read more... )

In my carton I was not able to experience the minutes before dawn when the world is still but the air moves with anticipation. I relish every minute of sunlit freedom but these quiet moments are my favorite, a reminder of my days of captive innocence ( Read more... )

Heartfelt apologies for not continuing with my tale. I have learned so much in these many days and I feel I must choose my words carefully. The world outside my carton is harsh and cruel, yes, but not without some joy! Joy, and sausages! First, my adventure ( Read more... )

As I lay huddled in the dirt like an uncouth insect, the massive beast hurling itself at the window above me, I almost gave up my hope. What hope I? A lonely, hunted egg in a strange world ( Read more... )

Days have passed with nary a moment to reflect and recount on my ongoing ordeals. Will I be marked as a hero to future generations of eggs or will I die unknown, cracked and forgotten? Is there no place in this world for a constipated egg ( Read more... )

I have managed to wrest myself from the confines of my carton. Huzzah! Many adventures to follow, I assure you ( Read more... )

I grow increasingly concerned over my future as the yogurt ages beside me - is this also my fate, to moulder and clot as time passes unmarked? Better to venture outside the confines of the frigid air and brave the dangerous beasts that lie in wait.

Close shave today, as there were ill-fated rumors that I was to made part of a pancake this morning. I waited in terror well into the afternoon, rattling in my papery confines and confiding intimately with the sad remnants of last night's green onion massacre.

When will the persecution end?