I's just enough. I'm reaching a point where I can no longer excuse my behaviour and thoughts to myself. It's too much, too long, too miserable.

I just want to be happy again. But I don't know how.

It's not fair that I make up all these things about you, the world, everything.

God I am hurting so much, and I don't know how to end it. Everything seems without purpose, yet I go and I do and I am. I have no idea why, because it seems stupid. To suffer just to suffer? Do I need the pain? I don't think I am like that. I don't think I should just cope with it - it seems almost blasphemous to misuse life in that way. I wish I ( Read more... )

You're lost and get wet no matter what you do.

I think I need to be analyzed. To understand myself better. I am beginning to come to terms with the fact that I am not as rational a person that I had once thought. Instead it seems I am governed by complete unreason - how this fact escaped me I do not know. Now I am trying to piece it together. Because I know I have a rational approach to so many ( Read more... )

Looks like fall is coming. So very nice, even though it has brought many an ill feeling. I long to see the leaves turn red so I can reflect myself in them. I have seen the woods today, but I cannot quite recognize them. But noesis will come with only a fraction of the revolution, how great I know not ( Read more... )

Why do they not care about me in that way...
Why did it heal so fast and not for me...
Why can we not... And so on.

I know I'm horrible.

I feel like stalking you just to see you. Feel like hiding you so no one can take you. Feel like holding you so you won't be harmed. I want to rekindle your heart... But I don't know how.

It's just too sudden and too definite.. And I don't know if I can cope with all that at once. It just seems to get worse and worse. Just... talk...

I knew it was coming. That doesn't make it easier. I wished it weren't so. I had built our lives into such a dream, such a castle, even with those obstacles that must be ( Read more... )

Because I don't get that kind of attention.