originalabigail
originalabigail
originalabigail
originalabigail
originalabigail

new journal, bye controltower__ !

Okay what it is that is getting to me so much is this: I have spent the past eleven months (okay, probably more, but it's been the central focus of my life for that time) striving to tell the whole truth and be generally honest (not steal, etc), be respectful of myself and those around me, go out of my way to be helpful and kind, and to be aware of ( Read more... )

Truthfully, honestly, really, the thought of the day is this: at least when I was drinking I had something to look forward to at the end of the day besides sleep. Also this: at least when I was sick I was thin and could be happy about that. Here's some truth: the other day when I ate at Zen I accidentally threw up a little (truthfully, honestly, ( Read more... )

someone today recognized me from the previously mentioned unflattering Austin Style photo THIS CITY IS POLLUTING MY VERY EXISTENCE

I feel like the tendrils of the bush by my front door that uncurl into the rain every time the sky opens up and try to follow me inside when it's too hot out ( Read more... )

I guess it makes sense: long enough into the summer for everyone to realize that too much time on their hands just makes us more neurotic than ever, and it's that time again where I have to touch to feel real and push for hunger and exhaustion to know that I'm still capable of something more than long, long dreams. I've realized that I am looking ( Read more... )

lady that Cloe and I would have rented our house from never showed today (in spite of 30 minute wait in rain); turns out neither of us can afford to move out anyway; closed tonight but somehow managed to sell less than half of what both of the other servers did and only walked away with $50 (got completely stiffed twice- three times?- and tipped 11 ( Read more... )

having your computer stolen; being informed that is the probably the last month of the head of your family's life; finding out your boyfriend's been stealing upwards of $200 a month from you, using at least one of a variety of drugs for nearly every day of your entire 6 month relationship, using heroin for over 2 and a half months altogether during ( Read more... )

god I am just really tired of everything hurting! Not even waiting tables and watching Project Runway for hours on end is working anymore.  Maybe just wake me up in two months?

He shot up last night and I spent all day on the phone with people on the verge of or in hysterics trying to help arrange treatment, storage, money wires, etc. In the morning he will be gone for a month to an inpatient program in town and I will not see him for two weeks or be able to spend time with him for a month because of the rules there. I ( Read more... )