i feel more lost than i have in a really really long time...maybe ever...

we never got back together...so why does this feel like another break up? i want to be your friend so badly; but it is breaking my heart. you said you couldn't keep pretending...but what are we doing now? the worst part is that i can't even be mad at you. i hope to God that you find what you are looking for, and that i am still around when you ( Read more... )

okay here it is ( Read more... )

i am off to the airport. thanks, kids, for showing me a good time. love you all.

owwww

it's all about me now.

i'm going to be okay.

:)

i am tired...i never really understood the meaning of full time...whew boy i feel like a grown up. and i still feel sad and confused. it was rainy and cold here today while all the kids at home were on the river...i feel melancholy...which is better than just plain sad i guess.

in other news i need to get some action...

here i am again...devasted and pathetic. i got a letter from andrew and it killed me. it just feels wrong. so now i am sitting alone in my apartment eating chinese from the carton and trying not to cry. which will only last until i crawl into bed alone, imagine the arms that once held me while i slept and cry myself to sleep yet again. the ( Read more... )

well ( Read more... )