I haven't written in forever - and I'd normally use the excuse that it was because someone got really mad at me a while back for writing what I felt and so I stopped writing. Well, I decided to write again 'cause frankly I've stopped caring about that situation. I think its coming to a point where I need to let out some of this emotional crap ( Read more... )

The last month or so has been pretty hectic. I've had to make plans with people, meetings were scheduled and different extra curricular things took up the time I used to take up with random stuff like LJ and myspace surveys. Jeremy and I have been doing well. The marathon conversations have lessened but we have definately have found stuff to ( Read more... )

I decided that it's been a while since I've written anything. So I guess I'll throw in a little bit about my life and what is going on. Ken still isnt and probably wont talk to me. *shrugs* his loss I suppose. Work is SLOW and I'm finding it hard to get myself through the work day, not to mention that I am totally unmotivated to do anything ( Read more... )

I haven't written in the last week or so because someone chastized me for doing so... but I thought about it and I decided and I still want to write so I am going to ( Read more... )

The one month rule it is... after the initial disappointment of it... I know its what I need and what is right for me to do.

*inserts foot in mouth, chokes on her own words*

I talked to Doug *the HR manager* today about what would happen to my job if I went on the mission trip with the church in March. He said I had options - either way my job would still be ready and waiting for my return - wouldn't lose my job if I chose to go. Hmm... now if only I knew how much the adult mission trip would cost. I also asked him ( Read more... )

I guess now that I'm over the initial miserable-ness of this whole situation I need to figure out what I want to do with me/for me. Everyone knows I'm a planner - always looking ahead and having trouble with the here and now... so what is it that I can plan? Obviously for the more immediate situations... I plan to commit to nothing in the ( Read more... )

These last few days have been really trying. Ken and I broke up this morning... kinda upon a mutual decision. As much as we both wanted a fix for the situation... there really wasn't one to be made. He needed to find himself again, I needed someone who was going to be reliable and there for me - as close as possible. What is really hard right ( Read more... )

Over the last couple of weeks I have had moments of clairity - moments where I havent felt like a nervous wreck... where I haven't felt like everything I took so much precous time to build is gonna come crashing down on me at any moment. This is not one of those moments. I'm just really scared that I screwed up and that there is no solution for ( Read more... )