"i feel so dirty," you said, but it was too late and i didn't have any sympathy for you. you sat between your knees on the tile floor and i would've helped you up so we could just leave, but i didn't want to touch you yet. i looked away when you spoke, and thank god you were silent for a while afterwards. i knew this was the one moment of weakness ( Read more... )

we two were ground up and made into sausage. we kept our original colors; your fat bubbles were yellow and mine were white. our shape was now dictated by the transparent seal, but it was tasteless and without any color at all, so we didn't mind it too much. there was a second layer of plastic i disliked more-- it fogged and clamped us to a purple ( Read more... )

(i'm whispering,) i'm learning to keep things to myself, not to touch, to let my eyes glisten slightly, slightly glisten only, and only if i need to, because i need to keep it to myself. i am whispering this, keeping it to myself, hurt, hurt, that's what i keep for myself. time to hurt, eyes to glisten, things to myself. things must be kept to ( Read more... )

she used to close her pocketbook like it locked. she would bite my lips like they were chocolate covered cherries, she contorted her face as if she couldn't speak the language, and she walked her dog like it was a new pair of shoes. i remember that much. black cat in a thin alley, contact lens in the toilet bowl. we crumbled softly, she murmured ( Read more... )

i've come here and i can't say why-- can hardly determine how far my head is from the ground or tell you the few things i know as true, because i'm afraid to lie to you. i've arrived here and i won't say how-- will only do the things i've learned best to do, turn off the lights and dance the nutcracker with you, purr and moan and chuckle and coo. i ( Read more... )

the day darkens already. i was fed til full with glutinous, yogurt lethargy. my body was thickened by the haze that hung, sardonic and saturnine, between myself and the ceiling. my heavy head floats now, in blinding oblivion caused by the sullen haze, the grudging haze, between myself and yourself. we were beautiful and light between the sheets, ( Read more... )

and the baby said to me, with one eye and two eye, stretching one finger through ten finger, raising left eyebrow and right eyebrow, moving up lip and down lip, "reach out and love me!"

a betty

i made sure you begged me. you should've seen the quiver in my eye when you were on the floor, but you were on the floor. i worked hard to get you on the floor and beg me. i wasn't leaving until you had, i convinced myself not to. i almost did. the man in the apartment next door turned on his blasting television and i could hear the television ring ( Read more... )

despite my narrow hips and skinniness, i always seem to be bumping into things. depth perception has constantly been a problem for me. like a little lumpy baby stumbling on two little feet while learning to walk, i fall and trip and skid all over the tricks of my environment. perhaps i think i take up less space than i do, and naively believe these ( Read more... )

i told you i came here for the registration but you didn't believe me and instead called me names all afternoon until i confessed to you the truth about why i had come but it didn't take you long to misunderstand that too. you snapped a rubber band on your wrist while i told you and i looked at that instead of your furrowed brow and crew cut hair ( Read more... )