Dear You,

You know who You are, but I don't. For me, You never existed. Crazy or just clueless, with a few rare and fleeting exceptions, I've spent my life feeling unloved. Mostly I spoil those exceptions by loving too much back. (If any of them are reading this, I'm so sorry).It's been absolutely miserable and lonesome without You. I wander through ( Read more... )

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Mountain house is the name we gave to, unsurprisingly, a house in the mountains of West Virginia.

I've been lived at Mountain House, since November and it's been largely a blast. I've been serving as Sage's sidekick and almost every day has been an adventure. I've learned much about growing food, slaughtering chickens, healing plants and general ( Read more... )

....making a post without my laptop (virus issues, should be cleared up this week) is a bit like painting a portrait without brushes. No taking my sweet time crafting the words, no searching for just the right images... something is lost.

Anyway, I wish to record that Sage showed me this link about attachment disorders.

I'm only just now researching ( Read more... )

So, I was miserable, angry, depressed, anxious, jealous and paranoid. Turns out a bunch of it was justified.

( Read more... )

So let's see, I'm crazy and I'm a gamer.

( Read more... )

Paranoia, self-loathing, depression, anxiety, even anger consume me more than my ability to handle alone.

I don't know how to connect to people, I don't even understand what I'm doing wrong, otherwise I'd work on fixing it.

I'm so fucking lonely.

I am not the original author of this piece. The true credit goes to ZomgItsCriss on youtube, so if you'd rather here these words from an attractive woman sitting on her bed, here's the link. I thought she was brilliant in her presentation and thus transcribed it so it can exist on the 'net in another format, granting more people access. For the ( Read more... )

It's hot out. Damn hot. Oppressively hot. Back in 2000 I got involved in a bit of roughousing that landed me pinned under a mattress with a big guy jumping up and down on top, making it hard to breath while I refused to tap out. The fabric was just everywhere, it filled the world and all my reality for the moment. Oppressive mattress. I didn't even ( Read more... )

About that last post, sorry...Sometimes ignoring my emotions gets tough.

Got my head back today.

Garden's coming along. Paths are all cut, and thus are the raised beds and the squash hill is put together. I also constructed a crude "branch weave" fence to keep the dogs from stomping on my crops. The ever-bearing strawberries and onions are in the ( Read more... )