How is it that I was in an exelent mood just like 40 minutes ago, but that has gone far from up the hill. I'm trying to figure out why. i keepo pacing back and forth in my head wondering what the fuck is wrong with me. I didn't want this deformation of mental comprehension. Life is so fucking awesome...

It's getting harder and harder to distinguish the feeling that are slowly cracking away at the beating carcass I call a heart. I've been a prick to everyone lately and I'm not sure why. I'm pretty sure that he has a lot to do with it. I needs me some booty...

I can't believe it. I actually feel really happy about things right now. The weird thing about it is the fact that I've been staying with my cousin. When I say staying with him I don't mean like in a house, trailer, or something of comfort. When I say it I mean staying with him in his car. He doesn't have a home. So I'm keeping him company. ( Read more... )

Ok, I guess I should explain my frustrations.

I do way to much for people. Honestly, I don't mind being the nice guy and buying poeple food or cigarettes or anything, but It really pisses me off when I can count in multiples of hundreds that I've spent on someone and they wont even buy me a fucking pack of cigarettes. Don't you agree?

I love how my the smallest amount of gulit cause me to agree to such a shitty weekend? I fucking hate it when I leave home. I don't know why, but it just seems like my world falls apart the second I am isolated from the people that I care about. I've only fucking been here for 2 hours and I already want to die.

I can't really explain how I feel right now. For some reason I feel left out, but i'm not really being left out of much. Everything that is going on is actually working to my benifit, but results are shown in time. It's really too bad that I don't have the patients to wait for it. Oh well though ( Read more... )

So yeah, I haven't posted in this thing since like January or so I think. Honestly there hasn't been anything exciting or worthwhile to talk about since then either, but I'll try to pull something out of my ass for this entry ( Read more... )

Yeah so I tried to call off of work today, but greg, my manager, is a fucking bitch. He was all like you have to come in. He made me feel really bad on the phone so I told him I'd come but after I got off the phone I was like fuck that! They can't really fire me for this because I'm in the union, but they can try to fire me. I hope they do ( Read more... )

Ok so the last entry that I wrote kinda made me realize how much I don't care. I do care though, but this thing that has taken my soul's place doesn't care. It never has to care. I just wish that it wouldn't drive all my friends away. So far I've been given the option to quit or loose jessica's friendship too. The worst part about all of it ( Read more... )

Well now that I say that it makes me realize just how much they haven't changed. In reality the only thing that has changed is me. New addictions and new secrets are making life so much more difficult than they used to be. It almost seems like it's just not worth it. Unfortunately, my body is always aimed to please itself before the others. I' ( Read more... )