i want to go without a map far away, i wont get trapped ( Read more... )

i love the feeling when it falls apart.

i am so sad. he broke my heart. he fucked me over. again. and i hate to say it but i miss him so much. i am moving back to new jersey with my tail between my legs. he doesnt love me, he never will. he isnt coming back this time, and i cant deal with it. my heart feels empty. i am alone again.

im falling very hard for this boy. its scaring the shit out of me. i shouldnt feel like this. i havent felt this for a long time. its like losing control all over again but in a different way. i cant be out of control anymore, in anything.

i am in california. i have been here for i dont know, 5 months maybe. i have relapsed twice, both times on heroin. i am a drug addict ( Read more... )

so i havent updated in a very long time, i felt it was nessacary to do so ( Read more... )

well i dropped out of college. im living out of a motel with russ. his family hates me. his brother believes that without me then russ would be sober and everything would be fine. i guess he could be right. i didnt shove this down his throat. i didnt drag him into this. it was his choice to try it, and he liked it. im sorry if it seems that i am ( Read more... )

but theres a light on in chicago
and i know i should be home.
all the colors of the street signs
they remind me of the pickup truck out front of your neighbors house.
he took me down and said,
"girls like you are overrated so save your breath."
loaded words and loaded friends.
loaded guns to our heads.you want apologies you might hold your breath ( Read more... )

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i am so anxious right now, im shaking. its hard to type. im overwhelmed with everything. i wonder what it's like to be normal and not have the thoughts that i have running through my head all the time. fuck ( Read more... )