Drought

[corsair2]

It's been a while since I've posted. Mostly because I'm afraid what would come out of me if I tried to post again.

Because I haven't updated The Corsair Journal for so long, I'm sure that anybody who ever followed it isn't anymore. Fine by me, really. The Journal was really more an exercise for helping me set some of my private thoughts and

Comments

Well, I am still here

[gythiawulfie]

Alive and kickin'

At least you are making the moves and steps forwards, and that is all we can do when someone does to us, what she did to you. My dearest and closest friend P, is going through the same stuff, but on a whole other level and over the top. So I understand a lot of where you are coming from.

Some wounds only scar, and those scars do fade with time, but they never go away. I know, I have a few of my own.

Glad to see you back around.
Tell your sweetie I said hello, and explain to her just exactly what a Wulfie is. :) She'll get kick out of that.

Re: Well, I am still here

[corsair2]

I'm very glad you're still here. My sweetheart is quite like you, in a lot of ways. She makes me laugh a lot.

I'll definitely tell her you said hello, and explain what a Wulfie is. And she will indeed get a kick out of that. :)

[tryss]

{hugs}

I've also found someone that is caring, tough, in-it-for-the-long-haul, and very much loves me. I love him too. More than anyone I've ever loved, I think. I don't want to be anywhere else than with him, and yet: The terrible times, the ones that led me here.. would have led me elsewhere if I wasn't as pained by them. If the cruel abuser didn't cut so deep, if the neglect-er had been less aloof.. Anyway..

Being with this person is washing away the pain bit by bit. I'm not sure if it'll ever be gone. He told me that at the worst times I act like someone with PTSD. but I like to think those triggers are leaving one by one. I open the memory.. deal with it.. act like a doofus for a while, then I'm back to my joyous self.

I'm looking forward to the day where talking about my abuser won't bring me to tears.

then again, abuse isn't the same as a divorce.. not to diminish either by the mention of the other.. they're just different events with different storms of feelings.

[corsair2]

Thanks, Tryss. I've thought about you a lot and your wisdom. And I'm extraordinarily happy that you've found yourself someone to build a forever love with.

When I was younger, I couldn't wait to be older and wiser. I wasn't prepared for the fact that wisdom often comes with a very high price tag.