So I had a confusing, anxiety-inducing session with my T on Friday. She is adament that I need to go do the hospital program that i have been waiting for....I had been starting to think that I could just skip it, and keep on going to work and living life (and yes, this is still what I so strongly want to do--i don't want to take three months off ( Read more... )

House to myelf again for the next 4 days. Nursing a monring-after sort of feeling after a night of debauchery and karaoke hier soir. Things are: ok. Big mistake weighing myself this morning: i seem to have magically packed on weight over the past few days (how is this possible?) and this is making food seem like a no-go today. Have had 2 rice cakes ( Read more... )

Once again , it's been awhile ( Read more... )

Still here. Much to report, and yet not.
(Muddled of mind tonight, determined to lose again, so determined. Must.Lose.Immediately. That's all there is to it. Hate myself for this.)

(cross posted from tf for posterity, with additions ( Read more... )

cross posted ( Read more... )

Yesterday was not a good day. Home alone for the weekend, my mind flipped a switch and it was like the past fdew weeks hadn't even happened. I threw up at least 4 times-- for the past few weeks I have been keeping it down to one purge a day, if not none (those days of none are rare, I will admit ( Read more... )

Well, I officially need to stop drinking. My hangover is easing, but i am still tired and worn out from staying out so late last night and drinking so damned much. the doc at the hosp. told me I had a problem with alcohol, and i am starting to believe him now. I do stupid things when I drink, and i regret the drinking the next day. It has to stop ( Read more... )

Here we go again ( Read more... )

My interview-thing is tomorrow morning. Meeting with the editor and the publisher of the magazine ( Read more... )