FIRST:
x. boyfriend/girlfriend: Jesse in Kindergarten
x. "romantic" kiss: 10th grade. by my parents car. before we drove him home
x. heartbreak: brian in 10th grade
x. word: don't know
x. (grade) school: went to 1st grade at Middlestadt Elementary in Spring, TX
x. job: MBNA
x. car: '98 Ford Escort ZX2... still have it.
x. favorite singing group(s): um I ( Read more... )

I'm losing my mind. It's like I'm trying to crawl my way out of my own skin. I can't deal with things anymore. I'm angry all the time and I hate it.

I don't know what's going on anymore.

I just wish i weren't me anymore.

I used to make the light shine for you,
The sun has left my sky.
Velvet walls surround my sorrows,
I've sacrificed my pride.

Giving up on me,
You're giving up on me
Giving up on me,
You're giving up on me.

I've laid myself to sleep tonight
I know you've played out everything in your mind.

And now you throw it all away,
A shattered memory that you would stay.
( Read more... )

How do you know when it's time to find a new best friend?

Or is that even what I want?

It's like at this point in time, there are all these things that I want.............. and none of them seem to involve her. And I don't feel like I fit in anywhere in her life despite my efforts.

I just want to tell her that she is being rude, manipulative, slutty, ( Read more... )

I want romance
I want intimacy
I want a kiss that makes me weak in the knees.

I want to fall in love.

It's my first night in this house EVER by myself and I am scared. It's creepy and dark and weird. I don't like it by myself. :-( People need to come stay with me.

I already wish I had someone here with me :-(

Just a little more slowly

The river's running fast right now.
It's the time of year the water cleanses itself.
Running wild, but always in control.
And now's the time to sever the ties.
To habits that weaken, disguised by tradition.

Drain away this fear,
Until it disappears.
Yeah!
I'm not ready to swim, I'm not going to sink.
I just want to float through the sea.
Are you pulling me ( Read more... )

I lay in bed at night and write these beautiful words in my head that can accurately describe what is going on in my life... but then when I get around to writing it down, the words never seem so beautiful, they never seem to exactly capture everything I thought they did. There is always more. Always something else I just don't know how to say. All ( Read more... )