My God it's been ages. I have no idea how I can put into terms how much life has changed. I don't think I want to. This journal was an ugly ugly time in which I needed as many outlets as possible to deal with what I was going through. That was the hardest period of my life (as of right now) so, yeah. I don't think I need this journal right now ( Read more... )

That's right, I'm back in Ohio. Most of the day I've been sleeping and I've gone to a few classes, it's not bad at all. Spanish class should be pretty special... I don't know ( Read more... )

Holy shit I forgot this journal existed. That's no good, considering it was supposed to be the one that I went to for sorting out real emotions... oops. So, I'm not sure what to say at this point, I think things are kinda calming down, believe it or not. I bite my tongue at saying that, just because when I do it seems to be taunting fate, but I' ( Read more... )

The Agnus Dei is a prayer at church. "Lamb of God you take away the sin of the world, have mercy on us. Lamb of God you take away the sin of the world. Grant us peace." It is also a song by Rufus Wainwright, in which he performs the song in Latin and sets it to sweeping, orchestral, grandiose, operatic Rufus style music. The meaning of the ( Read more... )

Blah ( Read more... )

Tony's disguising his cry for help in an attempt to help me. He says I'm distant, but that he "wants to be part of my every waking moment and the sleeping ones, too." What the fuck? Why do I put myself into these situations in life? Don't try to tell me I need help and then go on about how empty you feel. Yes, I'm distant, because I have to ( Read more... )

So, went a little nuts, eh? Something tells me it was begging to happen, and will happen again. That is why it's been suggested I being taking anti-depressents. Is that the answer? Seriously, I'm very wary of drugs, they're not just a cure-all for life. They shouldn't be used as a crutch. However, I'm told that they're not meant to be a cure- ( Read more... )

(Being self aware and painfully easy to put in a good mood, I know I'll probably take this back in a little bit, but I'm still saying it now ( Read more... )

This is going to be a really tough break ( Read more... )

What is going on. Have I just started something? Do I want to start this something? Maybe I do... UUUUUUGH ( Read more... )