this is going to be one of those live journal posts. don't say i didn't warn you.

tonight was depressing. i went to the 40 watt to see hope for agoldensummer - showed up way too early and sat alone on the couch stoned staring up at the disco ball and surrounded by the white noise of people chatting with each other. my own silence seemed amplified, ( Read more... )

hey insomnia - FUCK OFF AND LET ME SLEEP.
I haven't slept right since I was in Alaska.

goddamnit. this is going to be incoherent but i don't care. i've already been through at least half a bottle of wine tonight and i know that probably accounts for half of what i'm feeling... but alcohol aside - i feel like shit. i miss luke so much. and right or wrong, at this moment i just want to be going back to hampshire for school in the fall ( Read more... )

...i think Cowboy (my rat) is dying... i was gone for six weeks and when i came back last night i found out that he's lost the use of his back end. He seemed like he had adapted pretty well to it, he was pulling himself around okay, eating and drinking - but his hind legs were sticking through the wire floor and I was afraid he was going to get ( Read more... )

so here's your semi-regular i can't fucking sleep post ( Read more... )

my heart was a sapling
when it was shaken and bent
by hands rough with shame
I trembled then, and like a spider
spun barbed wire into an web around its trunk

the years bore its breadth
organic memory completing
rings of experience that could be read
like a sacred text growing far from the touch of the world

till ground fertile, and ( Read more... )

i'm on the edge of one of those, "what the hell am i doing with my life?" "why am i here?" "what should change?" existential type crisises ( Read more... )

 my body has resolutely decided that THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY I CAN GET TO SLEEP
arrhrhrhrhghghghghghghgh

i was debating on whether or not i should put the address to my new blog up here but ah well what the hell?

http://well-i-declaire.blogspot.com

enjoy

I threw in the towel at Barnes and Noble, can I get an amen? thank ya jesus ( Read more... )

what a christmas. it's been so nice just being able to spend time with everyone ( Read more... )