how come all of a sudden canada is everywhere? i get an email about flights and the hotel specials are for toronto, i get a magazine and the back is an advert for a hotel in toronto and the first page i open to is an article titled "terrific toronto," i am talking about my vacation to seattle and am told that i should go across the border to ( Read more... )

my grandma is 89. she is one of the most important people in my life and i want her to meet the man i am going to marry before she dies. i want them to know each other. that doesnt give me that much time.

i must have a thing for lost little puppies. when they are confused, uncertain, dont know what they want or how it works into what they need, i just want to hold them and love them and take care of them. i dont think that is a bad instinct but it doesnt much lend itself to having someone hold and take care of me.

i do not enjoy my active dream life all the time, nor do i enjoy dreaming of him as i do. once it was that he told me he was gay - an odd choice for a dream about your lover (though i hate that word, i do not have a better one for him). then last night it was me calling him and getting his voicemail; his recorded message was: first, i would like ( Read more... )

i hate that i am in such a good smiley mood today because we spent last night together, even though i had to leave for work over an hour earlier than usual and i didnt sleep well after 3am. i hate that it didnt take much convincing for me to go to him, despite the drive and the traffic and the relatively short amount of time we spent together. i ( Read more... )

you encounter a lot of bumps and bruises looking for a good man. i still get beat up most of the time.

she asked it perfectly: so are you going to keep seeing him or cut your losses ( Read more... )

sometimes there is just no possible explanation for the songs in my head... i woke up singing 'total eclipse of the heart' and i dont even know the last time i heard that song. then when i got to work, i had 'accidentally in love' in my head. seeing as i listened to the cure on my way here, i dont know where that one came from either...

he seriously makes me ill. i get a bit panicked, most just angry and frustrated, and my head spins and i want to vomit. i keep thinking that he has been such a good friend and he is worth keeping in my life but he hasnt been a good friend for months and months and i react so violently to his reaction to my efforts to have him present. in this ( Read more... )

do you ever find yourself staring out the window at the falling snow and wish you could lay down and let it cover you, wishing it would be really heavy so you could actually get buried in it? feel the weight so you know that it is actually there and let it push on you in a way that encompasses you and lets you ache in a good way. i dont like ( Read more... )