Best Of Chapters 41-60, Part 2
And a second dose of the shitty and the witty, thought I can’t say it’s any better than the first. Give yourselves a good pat on the back for putting up with this stuff - go on, you deserve it.
Strangest names
* “eh? Well...my name is Rei, Rei Arsen.”
“Then, let me introduce my self, I’m Reef Verdant.”
“I’m Lilt Limerick, nice to meet you.” I followed.
*
“You are anime lover?” she clasped her hand, “then…we are the same. Wow it’s nice to meet you! I think I would be lonely because no one I could talk to about it, but I wouldn’t now. My name is Harebell Dryad, and you?”
*However he knew he had been lonely this summer, no people except Snape, Mcgongle, Pomfey and Dumbledore stayed the full holidays, after all the were the only permanent residents.
* Headmaster Stangle did not seem like a prejudiced or a stupid man.
* I am pleased to announce that this year’s Head Girl and Boy are Kalasin Moon, from Slytherin, and Terry Boot, from Ravenclaw.
* I could not do this alone. “SEVERCTUM!” I yelled. A faint pop was heard and my
jessstretch: bowels fell to the floor. "Dang it," I said loudly. "I just can't get that spell right...I know I'm doing something wrong..."
first and most loyal house-elf appeared in front of me.
“Yes sir?” he asked in a clear, dignified tone. “Severctum, find Mikel in the owlrey and apparate with him down here. It is the only way to save Sarah!”
la_fono: I first read that as "Severectum" which would have been WAY funnier, but then I actually tried pronouncing it out loud and realized...YOU CAN'T. Severctum? WTF? BAD SNAPEWIFE, BAD.
esmestrella: Poor elf; he must have got SO teased at house-elf school.
* (the fic’s summary:)
The friendship of Rose and Scoprius during their first year.
* (by the same author!)
Set post DH. Seems there is trouble between Scorpius Mafloy and Albus Severus Potter. Slash.
* Two months later they had been recruited by CHERUB and had changed there names to Alexandria Louise Trouble and Maxine Kitsume Rikasaki.
* Ayden Poseidon Severus Adder Snape: Snape's only son. Surrogated grandson of Voldemort and Dumbledore. Light and Dark families. Doesn't take crap from anyone but his own father. 18yrs. 95% gay. Hates Harry Potter. This is his story...
* Today I was leaving this stupid muggle place. I was leaving the others and only taking Argenta, who has just slithered up to me and warped herself around my arm. As I walked out of the old room and out of the orphanage I walked away from that life. What I didn’t know was I was also walking back into my old life. The life full of wizards, witches, and magic. The life where I am Harshed Riddle.
* His mother walked up the stairs to his attic bedroom and knocked on his door, “Sev, there’s a young man here to see you?” called his mother, Angelic Snape.
* "It's Jeffoery Killingstone." He said abruptly as if reading my mind.
* In the land of faeries, Theundor, trouble was brewing. The old king, Sal’tador, had passed away leaving his two young sons in charge. Elvator was only 17 years old, Annie was 15 and Trhum was a mere 9 year old.
Killing people is not evil! Honestly!
* “In my sixth year after my godfather was killed, Dumbledore decided to train me himself to prepare me for the battle against Voldemort, but he was killed at the end my seventh year. Then for the next three years I trained on my own and grew pretty powerful training in all kinds of magic’s and me and my friends and others continued fighting Voldemort. Then my friends betrayed me, they thought I was into dark arts and was becoming dark and had joined Voldemort because Dumbledore was dead and gave me all sorts of crap and tried to get me sent to Azkaban so I would not kill them all. Why they turned on me I do not know till date. So I left them and decided to fight him on my own, it was me against everybody. I could have decided to go dark and kill every body but I didn’t, because it wouldn’t be what my parents, godfather and my surrogate godfather would have wanted.
* Harry had also begun dabbling in Dark Arts but had managed to resist its corruption due to his intent behind learning such spells. He did not want to use the Dark Arts to cause harm and revel in it, but rather use it to efficiently incapacitate his opponents and anyone that stood in his cause for revenge.
eir_de_scania: Not by causing them harm, of course.
Strangest form of military training
*The last day was finally upon them and all they had to do was not give into the pain of a jellyfish sting. It was semi-hard until Kerry made them see strength.
Most bathetic comparison ever
* Opening his eyes he was greeted by the full moon. Staring he felt his jaw drop. It had never been that big! The moon was a huge glowing sphere, about the width of a plasma TV except circular.
Oddest imagery
* Right now, James thought to himself, she looks so beautiful. Her body of red and green blended in with the setting sun, yet contrasted against it.
*
James Potter looked at the dancing Heads with disappointment in his hazel orbs.
rickfan37: Is the Suethor here a certain S. Dali?
When spell check is not your friend
* “Theo! Look, who come to pick you up?” Theo’s only older sibling, Marionette, smiled at her younger brother. Her husband was at his wok place this moment.
* “You got caught?” Max asked completely disgusted at the thought.
“Ammeters.” Alex agreed with Max.
* Harry detested the move… he still did. He didn’t really fit in here, with his small statue for a male and quiet demeanor.
* Snape tilted Harry's head to the side, fangs sinking painfully into the boy's neck. Harry whimpered, feeling blood leave him before Snape decided to lick the wound closed. "I advise you to remember your place from now on." With a flick of his wrist he shoved Harry to the ground and walked away leaving his life-mate to barely regain his composer and follow.
* “Thanks Kreacher for the though, If you mind I wish to be alone” said Harry.
“Master doesn’t need to tank Kreacher;
ija_ijewna: The old house elf smiled proudly. "Mistress Walburga had a German tank underneath Grimmauld Place. In case of accidents, she said. Kreacher learnt to operate it."
* Harry could have feinted in relief.
esmestrella: He ran upstairs to fetch his fencing foil so he could do so.
* “Work? What work? The first thing we need to do is get you all healed up then you have to meet all the other kids here,” he replied in a perplexed tome.
* She just starred quizzically. Who was this person?
“How are you feeling?”
It was a young man who was talking, probably no more than 21. He walked over to her, a large grin on his face. She just starred at him with wide eyes. She had no idea where she was, and now this overly happy guy was starring at her.
*
Behind her a shelf filled with the same candies read, DRAGON BOOGIES: SHOOT FLAMING BOOGIES AT YOUR FRIENDS.
*
“Oh, common Ron,” Ginny grinned. “That was fun.”
* With that the face broke apart and the fog and everything is concealed withdrew, leaving only the crisp green crass touched with dew and the morning sun rising over the horizon, colouring the sky in reds, yellows and oranges.
*
Severus tried to look into her mind to see what the intelligent brunette thought of this proposition. He encountered naught but a hard smooth surface like glass, behind which there was only inky black deaths.
esmestrella: Her brain cells were drowning in a skull full of ink?
eir_de_scania: Unfortunately, yes. Both of them.
* Draco was prejudice because of her family finances; Lucius was prejudice because of her father; Narcissa was prejudice because of her manners. Ginny had truly discovered that the Malfoys really were as prejudice as people thought they were.
* She had the most amazing figure. She was at least 5’9’’ in height, had blue eyes, prefects breasts and an ass every guy would drool watching her walk.
* “Harry could you pass me that veil of silvery blue liquid”
anayra: "...there's a big black dog trapped in it who says he knows you."
“Is this the cousin that beats you, and whose dad used to lock you under the stairs?” Morris asked as he started widdling and carving the wand.
*
Morris stopped his widdling for a second and looked over his shoulder to Harry
*
Harry had a very strange dream that night, more like a nightmare really. He had been sitting front of the whole school just like the sorting, but instead of the sorting hat on his head he was wearing Professor Quirrell turbid, and it was telling him to be in Slytherin, and that it was his destiny, the turbid then began to crush him, then Draco and the Professor with the dark eyes appeared laughing at him telling him he was in the wrong house. Harry couldn’t move or breath because of Professor Quirrell turbid, but then Morris appeared and took his hands into his, he smiled at Harry, his eyes sparkling blue as he repeated over and over “it is our own choices in life, that show what we truly are” he began pulling Harry away from the dream.
*
Draco Malfoy and his guns Crabbe and Goyle sniggered loudly behind their hands.
esmestrella: Hmmm... gunslinger!Draco who has named his pair of shootin' irons "Crabbe" and "Goyle".
That's actually kind of awesome. :D
Snape then arrest the class “You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potionmaking," he began.
*
“Anyway back to the game, Flint, Slytherin captain lines up to the gaol with the Quaffle, he shoots.”
esmestrella: "OW!" says the prisoner within as Flint bounces the Quaffle off his head quite soundly.
* “Ro do you have any objections?” Al asked
“Tones but it doesn’t matter you all wont listen, so what time period?”
esmestrella: This fic Hertz.
“All in favour say I” Veronica said
“I” they all chorused.
*
“Okay relationships” Sara asked.
“Well that’s Jay, I’ll give you the short version I’ve known him since we were in dippers our parents were best friends.
* “This is not the place to discuss this.” He said as he turned to the carriages. “We will be leaving now.”
He stopped and turned to his guard. “I also want Daphne to be put in the dudgeons until further notice, for treason.”
esmestrella: And make sure it's the high dudgeon!
* I really have no idea how my grandfather puts up with him, I mean the retched man probably gets crucio’d daily.
I do not think that word means what you think it means
* Shaking herself out of her revelry, she sighed and spoke the password in a bored voice.
*
Albus stood at the foot of his bed, looking as omnipresent as ever and his eyes twinkling behind his half moon spectacles.
* She held his manhood and squeezed it hard making him yelp in pain. “Cheez what was that for!”
* Gods, Father made it seem so facile to make me feel like a 13 year old who’s managed to knock all of his fathers’ cauldrons full of expensive potions over…
*
Father stared, as if what I said was so inscrutable.
Longest block paragraph of doom
... was in Chapter 47 and was 1,042 words long. Damned if I’m reproducing it here.
Owl sex
* The moon hung high as Harry Potter looked out the window at Number 4 Privet Drive. His green eyes were mirrored with lust and his head hit the window with a thump. It was his 15th birthday, he only had a few more minuets to wait. The Dursleys had left for the week leaving him in to the whole house by himself. Hedwig rattled in her cage, looking at him with her fierce yellow eyes. “Hey, girl,” Harry tore himself away from the window, “Want to go out for a ride?”
* My eagle owl was sleeping, but not Hedwig, she was just looking at me and I gave her a charming smile.
Most felicitous instances of the ff.net character limit
* (the fic’s summary:)
The war is finally over. Voldermort is defeated and the Wizard world is safe. But the war has put deep marks on Hermione Granger´s soul. Marks that none of her friends can see. In fact no one noticed the deep pain Hermione feels, except for the one who f
A Trifecta Of Reliquaries, One Black Capote by bobthepurple
(the fic’s summary:)
A what if, when the hallows are united against a common purpose. The title isn't complete, due to the form rejecting the amount of space I wanted.
Worst titles
Harry PotterHouse?
And Then It Rayned
(Note: the Sue’s name is Rayne.)
Death To JKRowling
Mommy Draco
Lot’s Of Love
Give me a freaking cookie
Prolouge
DAMN RON I couldn’t think of a better name!
* (a chapter title:)
The Draco Malfoy Story Chapter .o01
eir_de_scania: ***A really, really short chapter?
Me: If only.
The most tortuous and overpopulated fic of all time
* (the fic’s summary:)
Harry, Ginny, Ron, Hermione, their kids, Victoire, and Teddy are somehow transported to an AU, where everyone knows that they AUed? What happens when there's a different BWL and Harry adopts that world's Harry? This is that story. R&R please!
*
“Yeah, I know,” Harry said, unable to take his eyes off the boy, “But… what if they want him back? After what they did to him? And how will all the kids and everyone react to this?”
He was referring to the fact that he, his wife, Ginny, and their three kids, Lily, James, and Albus, as well as Harry’s godson, Ron and his wife, Hermione and their kids Hugo and Rose, and the recently married engaged of Teddy and Victoire had just recently been caught in a spell and somehow had landed in a different world. plus the fact that 11 of the 13 people mentioned above didn’t know that they had adopted Harry Potter just that night.
*
“How many kids do you have again?” Lily asked politely, “Three?”
“Four,” Harry corrected her, knowing full well that she knew that. The publicity here was only marginally better than in his home world, since Ron, Hermione, Teddy, Victoire, Ginny, Lily, James, Al, Hugo, and Rose were there to share the publicity, as well as Adrian for being the ‘last’ one through the portal thing and coming two or so months after they had appeared in this alternate universe.
*
Once the dust settled, Harry looked around and semi-consciously located him family. Ron? Check. Hermione? Check. Rose? Check. Hugo? Check. Teddy? Check. Victoire? Check. Ginny? Check. Lily? Check. James? Check. Al? Check. Adrian? Not check.
ennta: Too many characters? Check. Sanity? Not check.
Ron was Ryan Blake West, and Hermione was Jean Jane West. Hugo was Hugo Ryan West, and Rose was Rose Flora West. Teddy was Ted John Larson, and Victoire was Victoire Claire West. Harry was Harry Jason Potter, Ginny was Jenny Laura Potter, Lily was Lillian Lilac Potter, James was Jake Reggie Potter, Albus was Al Stephan Potter, and that world’s Harry had been legally renamed Adrian Harold Potter.
Worst spell ever
* Out of the second carriage a small boy about the age of seven appeared. His features were obviously that of Daphne’s, but something hinted to Ginevera as wrong, something that was not noticeable unless you looked close and knew the bloodlines of the ‘pure’.
She lifted her hand in his direction and murmured. “Purious DNA Revealo.”
Eh?
* RunilWazlib has just entered the chatroom
TheSpewOfProngs: Hi Ron
RunilWazlib: Hi Harry, or the spew of prongs?
TheSpewOfProngs: Yeeeees? Whats wrong with that RUNILWAZLIB?
RunilWazlib: Nothing,nothing at all. But you do know Fred and George is going to start worshiping you when they find out?
* Twenty two year old Hermione Granger slammed her suitcase closed after putting the last piece of article in it.
ms_treesap: Forty thousand words on SPEW for the House Elf Summit in Geneva were enclosed.
* It wasn’t every day Lucius felt bewildered. The imposing wizard wanted some answers and he wanted the yesterday!
* Having breakfast in the almost empty hall, with the Weasley twins was an adventure. Avoiding eating one of their magic Christmas sweets that made you sing Christmas songs for the whole day they tried sneaking into his fried eggs.
esmestrella: What do you suppose they were hoping to find in there?
* I couldn't help but laugh as her dark brown eyes widened and she stumbled for an applogizy.
Strange romance
* “You look terrible.” Said Ron at breakfast. Hermione gave him one look and said:
“Continue on that line and I will make sure that some parts of you never will look the same again.” Ron looked terrified at the thought of which part she might hex and got really interested at the shape of his eggs.
* "Mr Malfoy and Miss Weasley!" Madam Pince said, "Out of my library at once. Your behaviour is outrageous."
With great reluctance Rose and Scorpius left the library.
"Nasty old bint," Rose said quietly. Scorpius nodded.
"My father said that she was picked up her title in the bordellos of France," Scorpius offered. Rose was intrigued.
* I smiled to myself and I looked over at Sirius to see his reaction, but his attention was fully on his new girlfriend, who was currently blowing him kisses; I grimaced and turned around trying to entertain myself with my pencil.
* “I got Oak and Sunny” Arianna quickly claimed the two gelding horses (the ones with no balls), for they are more calm than stallions (ones with balls) and less moody than the mares.
*
Arianna had always been more open about her pregnancy than Draco had been, most likely for the fact that Arianna was a girl, not yet a woman (1), and Draco a male.
eir_de_scania: ***Tell us about their balls, will you?
* (they are at the wandmaker’s:)
“Oh don’t worry; I’ll be fit for you and Sirius in a moment” he then took a pepper-up potion and was now ready for Sirius
“Well, Sirius, just repeat what the others did, and we’ll have your wood”
* At the age of fifteen my grandmamma considers everyone a woman.
Whether they’re ready for it or not, she sets them up for marriage.
jessstretch: Oh, think of the scarred little boys in that family!
* Harry found himself watching the memories of the Marauders when they were still in Hogwarts, seeing them playing their various pranks and Sirius' attempts to try and get a date for balls.
*
Hissing the password to open it, Harry prepared himself for any movement, fearing that the 1000 year old basilisk may have had children. When it became apparent that nothing bad was going to happen, Harry lit his wand and proceeded to enter the statue.
* Scorpius was smirking, resting his hands on his knees. "I do hope that you aren't too besmirched. I wouldn't want your father coming after me for tarnishing your maidenhead!" He laughed, carefree and young, it hurt Albus to hear.
*
When Albus entered the fifth year Slytherin rooms, his classmates took one look at his face and quickly left. However, as they were Slytherins, they discretely hovered outside, just in case something juicy was slipped out.
* “Now please off to your rooms.” “Except you three” (McGonagall) added hastily to Ron, Harry and Hermione. “If you please follow me II would like you to come in my new office.”
* Sharp teeth grabbed his sneaker causing Harry to fall heavily down on his stomach. Ron came up from behind him and took his hands, trying to play tug-a-war with the wolf. It would’ve been an amusing sight if it weren’t for the danger they were in. The red head gave a cry of fury and successfully pulled the shoe off Harry’s foot. Harry’s backpack flew off his shoulder but at the moment Harry didn’t give a damn. Giving a thankful grunt, they took off again but just as they were toeing the clearing to civilization- a painful prick inserted itself in Harry’s calf.
* "AH!" Yasmin screamed, but relieved herself when she realised it was only her blue-haired friend, Alexis.
* Harry could feel Ginny's lips on his as he gave into the kiss and literally explored her mouth.
rickfan37: Luckily, he had donned his pith helmet mere moments before, and his knapsack contained pitons, rope, and a sturdy torch.
* “No need to worry, none of us had Ho-school for eleven years so we had to prank each other to keep ourselves entertained” said Veronica
* I’m still looking at the window. I hear a loud crack. I look and standing close to me is Loly (the house-elf).
“Hi Loly” I say walking to him. I know he’s a man. He told me one’s when we were having a “conversation”.
* The Headmaster and the Gryffindor Head of House both sat down on either side of her bed. Her surly Potions Master preferred to learn against the cold stonewall, arms crossed in front.
esmestrella: Wow, Snape/Civil-War-general slash? Or is this Snape/country-singer slash?
* (the fic’s summary:)
When Ginny moves in with the Malfoy family when her own family is destroyed, she thinks it's the end of the world. Can she learn to live on, and do it with Draco Malfoy in the next room?
* (George is re-opening WWW after the war:)
I wanted to go join Ron and Hermione but mum's grip on my arm kept me in place. I think she was slightly nervous that George would pull something dangerous with his opening, trying to honor Fred as much as possible.
* They both turned to see Belatrix aim at them
“Say good bye, cousin!” she was about to cast the killing curse at them when Harry rammed her and they both fell to the ground
*
“DON’T YOU DARE CALL MY WIFE/MOTHER A MUDBLOOD!” Harry and James both called as one when Voldemort was about to finish his sentence
thelittlebudgie: Oedipus with a time-travel twist?
* Fred smiled, watching a women begin to pile boxes of Skeeving Snack boxes into her arms.
The sorting hat has lost it
* good thing Lestat and Louis were in Ravenclaw and Armand was in Hufflepuff, seeing as how this could take some time
Go to jail. Go directly to jail. Do not pass Go. Do not collect £200
* The marauders had no classes with Peter and he was never apart from them other than that, so this was his only chance to talk without the fear of Peter over hearing.
Most repetitive paragraph
* The soft summer breeze made him shiver. Breezes always made him shiver for a unexplained reason. The warm breezes always went straight down his spine, spreading the shiver while the cold ones just let him shiver like he’d jumped into a lake in which the temperature was below five degrees Celsius. It drove him mad. They made him shake like leaves on a full grown tree, which also danced along with the wind and shone softly from the reflection of the sun.
Fascinating and completely relevant descriptions of the characters’ clothes
* This gave me the time to look at what he was wearing and damn did the outfit do him some good. His sweater was a deep emerald green that was tight enough to show off his perfect muscular chest. His jeans were black and straight legged with a silver belt that I believe had snakes on it, I couldn’t really tell though, but maybe later if I’m lucky. And on his feet where a pair of black and green converse with, and this time I’m sure, silver snakes moving around.
* This time, Yasmin was, surprisingly, faster than the bluenette. As always, she had completed her look with the usual side ponytail and light makeup. Today, she was clad in a pink halter top and a jean skirt that went to mid-thigh, and flip-flops adorned her feet.
The shower turned, and 5 minutes later, Alexis came out of the bathroom with wet hair. She was, unlike her fashion friend, wearing a black t-shirt with silver graffiti writing on and a pair of olive coloured three-quarter lengths. A black hoodie was around her waist, and her laces on her trainers were currently being tied.
* Draco rolled his eyes and wondered why anyone even bothered to contradict his father. Mid-roll his grey eyes met briefly with ice blue orbs, staring intently at him. He was beautiful, in a rugged kind of way, with yesterdays on his chin, shiny dark blonde hair, so dark it almost looked black, white t-shirt, jeans, leather jacket and biker boots. Draco blushed faintly under the mans intense gaze, but didn’t get the chance to greet as his father ushered him to follow Xavier to his study.
*
He had unpacked all of his things and had dressed in a pair of black slacks a white cotton shirt and a simple thin silver grey, open necked cashmere jumper.
* On the steps to Gringotts he stood wearing what appeared to be a black, long- sleeved (of course) silk shirt. The material was blown tightly against his chest by the warm breeze. The last few buttons of the shirt were not done as were the first few, which practically were not done up so that he would get a breeze and not get too warm. However it caused Hermione to blush because she could see, when the shirt was blown askew properly, a small and endearing black treasure trail escaping into the waist of his pants. His hands were hidden in the pockets of said steely blue cargo pants, which clung desperately to his hips as they were rather loose. His eyes were hidden underneath the sunglasses Professor Snape had given him nearly two years prior, today the glasses were light blue and the frames black. Again no surprise there.
* So that was it, it’s was (unfortunately) time to go home.
Make a grand entrance.
Arrive unexpectedly.
Rouse chaos.
Whatever the hell you want to call it.
So grabbing my suede light blue messenger, I took up my gray Armani sunglasses and slid them over my eyes, taking one last look over my flat before apparating to the outskirts of the manor.
I breathed in the natural air, just felling the presence of, home. Despite what I said earlier, I’m glad to be home… I’m just not keen to the fact of dealing with everyone.
I strolled thru the trees on the pathway wearing dark Armani jeans and an Armani black chain detail shirt.
vivian_lake: "You can make a grand entrance, etc., etc., etc. - but don't you step on my blue suede messenger..."
* Harry James Potter, one of the most powerful wizards alive at the age of twenty three years stood in the middle of London with burning debris all around him. He was 5’11’’ in height and had messy black hair. He had the most amazing green eyes and a lightening bolt scar on his left forehead.
It was raining heavily and he was looking into the sky letting the rain splatter against his face. There was absolute silence except for the noise of the rain falling on the ground and lightening flashing across the sky. He held his wand loosely at his side and was wearing black robes with a sword hanging on one side.
Worst animal cruelty
* (Fred and George fangirls are sending the Sue hate-mail:)
First was a howler, which Elle happily opened, unaware of what is really was. Then came a box of poisoned chocolates, which Ginny was able to spot and chucked them. After came an assortment of owl’s, some with curses, some with nasty animals hidden inside, and then the ones that just said very mean things.
Snappiest lines
* “Harry could you, and I mean this in the nicest way, shut the fuck up,” Severus said looking up from the table with an obvious bug up his ass.
esmestrella: So OOC. *eyeroll* Severus would never say "I mean this in the nicest way".
However, I am now picturing Alan Rickman delivering this line and I think I am going to die from hilarity. BEST SNAPE LINE EVER.
* Forge: HE IS DOING IT AGAIN GAAAAAAAAH RUN FOR YOUR LIVES, SAVE YOURSELF! TO THE LIFE BOATS! WOMEN AND HANDSOME TWINS FIRST!
* “They are Spaniards!” Hermione told me cause Ron kept on being too astonished for speaking.
* Seeing the curious look on Harry's face when he mentioned 'elemental travel', he added, “elemental travel is when an elemental travels via their element.
* “JUST GIVE ME A FREAKING COOKIE!” Hermione exclaimed shaking her head like a crazy woman, her hair going all over the place.
* Rosa looked around the shop. There were very few of people. ‘Maybe it’s very morning so people haven’t come yet.’
* The bronze-haired genius flared her nostrils and turned on her heel.
* "Oomph! I am above such womanhandling!" Scorpius said.
* Arianna simply nodded afraid of the wrinkly woman.
Worst summaries
* AU. Harry Potter has two lives: 1. the boy who lived and 2. Doitvite the juggler.
plaid_slytherin: There are no words...
Me: I was hoping somebody else might know who Doitvite The Juggler was. Like, that he was a character from a Pratchett novel or something.
eir_de_scania: Pratchett is NOT, I repeat: NOT involved with any Doitvite the Juggler.
But perhaps we can hope DtJ goes to Ankh-Morpork to find a bright new career as a mime?
* Ron cheats on Hermione and Blaise comes to her rescue. Well, kind of. Like delayed or something, but whatever. Could this MEAN something? duh BH fluff. REVIWWWWW!
* Trelawney has made a Prophecy about HP.Merlin has made a Prophecy about a Snape.Which proves true?Will Sage and HP finally get on?3rd in series.AwardWinnngAuthor!
* The worlds of Magic and Mutants are about to come together. As the lines are drawn in the sand questions of Blood, DNA, and compassion are voiced acrossed the lands.
Bewared readers don’t tack light of what you read. There is knowledge to be gained and lessoned to be learned and only with both can you hope to gain a better understanding of …..
NOTHING just making that up.
* Rayne Devillian, a 17 year old, trouble making American with a bad attitude switches to Hogwarts school. TriangleLove!
thelittlebudgie: Harry stared in disbelief at her graceful, long hypotenuse, her elegant vertices, and her precise altitudes. He couldn't help but imagine seeking out her cosine, slowly measuring her altitudes, and sensually labeling her orthocenter.
"Merlin," Ron whispered. "Look at the external angles on her."
All Harry could do was nod.
* It starts in DOM and I'm not going to say anything else OC' and Cross-over HP/RL/SB HP/FG/S HP/RL/FG HP/SB/S HP/FG/RL/SB/S
* After marrying a muggle and adopting her son,Draco soon discovers the boy is a wizard. When Hogwarts comes calling,Draco is dragged back into the world he had abandoned,his past and a new evil,waiting to claim him one final time. DM/HP/GW/RW/HG & the kids
anayra_hirialen: I'm confused. Is this a character listing, or an indication of a multi-ship, incestuous orgy?
* Harry and Ginny and Ron and Hermione die of natural causes, of course and, erm, all at the same time. They go to the afterlife, or whatever you want to call it. They meet everyone up there, and watch over their children, who aren’t.
* Warning: possible citrus content.
* Harry Potter and the Atlanteans: Harry Potter and crew are transported to the land of the Atlantians! And things happen! I kinda forget what, so Soul-sis and I are gonna have to remember the plot soon...
* harry defeats voldemort and gets transported to a diff dimension. no boy who lived,but prophecy exists. Potters do not exist.
jessstretch: But luckily they still have glaziers and blacksmiths, otherwise it'd really suck.
Vampire-related bastardisations of Snape’s name
* Tsubaki's new trio: Remus, Sirius, and Severus. Their girls? Luna, Ginny, and...I don't wanna say. You'll have to read to find out. But it's a good hot, bloody read, especially since SevvyPoo's a vampire. X3
* ...sometimes, something so bad happens that a terrible sadness is carried with it and the soul can't rest. Then sometimes, just sometimes, the crow can bring that soul back to put the wrong things right. SSHP Ds abuse, VampSev, character death, SLASH
Most honest author’s note
* I also think that this ending is really corny. Lucius is totally out of character. Oh well.
Really crap author’s notes
* hey guys :D!!! my first fanfic do be kind, dont completely grill me if somethings not good. help me!! anyway i thought i'd trail this i originally wrote a similar story to this before buti've mixed it up a little bit, ohh and please review remeber two word CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISISM there greatly appreciated anyway i'll stop boring you the show must go on ciao!! x x
esmestrella: *Grills the author on one side only, to medium-rare*
* This is for my sister’s for her birthday. I am poor; therefore I am writing her a story with some of her favorite paring. I hope it’s good. Happy Birthday Sissy! Oh, and more thing, thanks go to my beloved Mike, for editing my story. (It stole part of his soul…lol.) Oh, crap, one more thing, this doesn’t follow the Harry Potter books, not really, but sort of and I own nothing.
* So, what do you think? I tried to take it word for word from the movie.
* A/N: did you get what tune he was humming? Well, you know.. the one that allways commes when something bad happes it goes down.. like dumdumdum... yeah whatever...
ija_ijewna: Like, totally! Dumdumdum, right? I knew it!!1eleven!!
* Now you might be wondering if I preferred any of those four witches/wizards who were the most powerful magical folk from way back then. Or, more commonly called the quartet (A/N: It took me longer then it should to learn that you call a group of four people a quartet) founders of Hogwarts.
anacolouthon: I... can't even snark on that. It's just so sad, and why would you admit that in the middle of your fic of all places (or at all, really)?
* Rating: PG 13 maybe R later on all thou dote it
Warnings: x-over, sifi, slightly AU, mentions of child, season 2-4 of x-men evo. , All 5 if not all 6 books, changes to both series
anayra_hirialen: Aah, run for your lives! There's a child in this fic! Cover your eyes before you are scarred for life by these foul mentions of children.
* 1AUTHORS NOTE: I do not own anything Harry Potter. I cannot garuntee all the names are right either...I enjoy the movies but have never really been able to read the books, but I get my information from a person who reprimands everything I type wrong about Harry Potter. I Love you Luke-kun :3 ENJOY THE STORY YO 8D
* A/N: Please comment. If you don’t’, how can I know that what you think about this story? If you want, I can make Draco make love to Rosa when she is in the boy form!
shocolate: No - I not want!!!
* Pay Atchison to this Warnings:
vivian_lake: Who is Atchison and why should I pay him?
...I am saying this once and only once that I’m throwing all religion out the window. I will be making up my own story on the afterlife and who the PTB’s are, There will be Some mention of RAPE, slash/fem slash, harms, sex change’s. The only person who I will promise that will stay strate is Harry...
anayra_hirialen: Which must make this fic practically unique!
...But don’t worry about me making everyone gay because I WON’T.
eir_de_scania: You won't? Then I'm not reading it. *sulks*
* Hi everyone, I'm Anne and I'm 18.
My dad is british, my mom was portuguese. I live in Portugal since I was little but I dominate english quite well.
esmestrella: Not well enough, apparently.
* i I reject your reality and substitute it for my own. /i
anayra_hirialen: I reject your crappy html and substitute my own.
Strangest names
* “eh? Well...my name is Rei, Rei Arsen.”
“Then, let me introduce my self, I’m Reef Verdant.”
“I’m Lilt Limerick, nice to meet you.” I followed.
*
“You are anime lover?” she clasped her hand, “then…we are the same. Wow it’s nice to meet you! I think I would be lonely because no one I could talk to about it, but I wouldn’t now. My name is Harebell Dryad, and you?”
*However he knew he had been lonely this summer, no people except Snape, Mcgongle, Pomfey and Dumbledore stayed the full holidays, after all the were the only permanent residents.
* Headmaster Stangle did not seem like a prejudiced or a stupid man.
* I am pleased to announce that this year’s Head Girl and Boy are Kalasin Moon, from Slytherin, and Terry Boot, from Ravenclaw.
* I could not do this alone. “SEVERCTUM!” I yelled. A faint pop was heard and my
jessstretch: bowels fell to the floor. "Dang it," I said loudly. "I just can't get that spell right...I know I'm doing something wrong..."
first and most loyal house-elf appeared in front of me.
“Yes sir?” he asked in a clear, dignified tone. “Severctum, find Mikel in the owlrey and apparate with him down here. It is the only way to save Sarah!”
la_fono: I first read that as "Severectum" which would have been WAY funnier, but then I actually tried pronouncing it out loud and realized...YOU CAN'T. Severctum? WTF? BAD SNAPEWIFE, BAD.
esmestrella: Poor elf; he must have got SO teased at house-elf school.
* (the fic’s summary:)
The friendship of Rose and Scoprius during their first year.
* (by the same author!)
Set post DH. Seems there is trouble between Scorpius Mafloy and Albus Severus Potter. Slash.
* Two months later they had been recruited by CHERUB and had changed there names to Alexandria Louise Trouble and Maxine Kitsume Rikasaki.
* Ayden Poseidon Severus Adder Snape: Snape's only son. Surrogated grandson of Voldemort and Dumbledore. Light and Dark families. Doesn't take crap from anyone but his own father. 18yrs. 95% gay. Hates Harry Potter. This is his story...
* Today I was leaving this stupid muggle place. I was leaving the others and only taking Argenta, who has just slithered up to me and warped herself around my arm. As I walked out of the old room and out of the orphanage I walked away from that life. What I didn’t know was I was also walking back into my old life. The life full of wizards, witches, and magic. The life where I am Harshed Riddle.
* His mother walked up the stairs to his attic bedroom and knocked on his door, “Sev, there’s a young man here to see you?” called his mother, Angelic Snape.
* "It's Jeffoery Killingstone." He said abruptly as if reading my mind.
* In the land of faeries, Theundor, trouble was brewing. The old king, Sal’tador, had passed away leaving his two young sons in charge. Elvator was only 17 years old, Annie was 15 and Trhum was a mere 9 year old.
Killing people is not evil! Honestly!
* “In my sixth year after my godfather was killed, Dumbledore decided to train me himself to prepare me for the battle against Voldemort, but he was killed at the end my seventh year. Then for the next three years I trained on my own and grew pretty powerful training in all kinds of magic’s and me and my friends and others continued fighting Voldemort. Then my friends betrayed me, they thought I was into dark arts and was becoming dark and had joined Voldemort because Dumbledore was dead and gave me all sorts of crap and tried to get me sent to Azkaban so I would not kill them all. Why they turned on me I do not know till date. So I left them and decided to fight him on my own, it was me against everybody. I could have decided to go dark and kill every body but I didn’t, because it wouldn’t be what my parents, godfather and my surrogate godfather would have wanted.
* Harry had also begun dabbling in Dark Arts but had managed to resist its corruption due to his intent behind learning such spells. He did not want to use the Dark Arts to cause harm and revel in it, but rather use it to efficiently incapacitate his opponents and anyone that stood in his cause for revenge.
eir_de_scania: Not by causing them harm, of course.
Strangest form of military training
*The last day was finally upon them and all they had to do was not give into the pain of a jellyfish sting. It was semi-hard until Kerry made them see strength.
Most bathetic comparison ever
* Opening his eyes he was greeted by the full moon. Staring he felt his jaw drop. It had never been that big! The moon was a huge glowing sphere, about the width of a plasma TV except circular.
Oddest imagery
* Right now, James thought to himself, she looks so beautiful. Her body of red and green blended in with the setting sun, yet contrasted against it.
*
James Potter looked at the dancing Heads with disappointment in his hazel orbs.
rickfan37: Is the Suethor here a certain S. Dali?
When spell check is not your friend
* “Theo! Look, who come to pick you up?” Theo’s only older sibling, Marionette, smiled at her younger brother. Her husband was at his wok place this moment.
* “You got caught?” Max asked completely disgusted at the thought.
“Ammeters.” Alex agreed with Max.
* Harry detested the move… he still did. He didn’t really fit in here, with his small statue for a male and quiet demeanor.
* Snape tilted Harry's head to the side, fangs sinking painfully into the boy's neck. Harry whimpered, feeling blood leave him before Snape decided to lick the wound closed. "I advise you to remember your place from now on." With a flick of his wrist he shoved Harry to the ground and walked away leaving his life-mate to barely regain his composer and follow.
* “Thanks Kreacher for the though, If you mind I wish to be alone” said Harry.
“Master doesn’t need to tank Kreacher;
ija_ijewna: The old house elf smiled proudly. "Mistress Walburga had a German tank underneath Grimmauld Place. In case of accidents, she said. Kreacher learnt to operate it."
* Harry could have feinted in relief.
esmestrella: He ran upstairs to fetch his fencing foil so he could do so.
* “Work? What work? The first thing we need to do is get you all healed up then you have to meet all the other kids here,” he replied in a perplexed tome.
* She just starred quizzically. Who was this person?
“How are you feeling?”
It was a young man who was talking, probably no more than 21. He walked over to her, a large grin on his face. She just starred at him with wide eyes. She had no idea where she was, and now this overly happy guy was starring at her.
*
Behind her a shelf filled with the same candies read, DRAGON BOOGIES: SHOOT FLAMING BOOGIES AT YOUR FRIENDS.
*
“Oh, common Ron,” Ginny grinned. “That was fun.”
* With that the face broke apart and the fog and everything is concealed withdrew, leaving only the crisp green crass touched with dew and the morning sun rising over the horizon, colouring the sky in reds, yellows and oranges.
*
Severus tried to look into her mind to see what the intelligent brunette thought of this proposition. He encountered naught but a hard smooth surface like glass, behind which there was only inky black deaths.
esmestrella: Her brain cells were drowning in a skull full of ink?
eir_de_scania: Unfortunately, yes. Both of them.
* Draco was prejudice because of her family finances; Lucius was prejudice because of her father; Narcissa was prejudice because of her manners. Ginny had truly discovered that the Malfoys really were as prejudice as people thought they were.
* She had the most amazing figure. She was at least 5’9’’ in height, had blue eyes, prefects breasts and an ass every guy would drool watching her walk.
* “Harry could you pass me that veil of silvery blue liquid”
anayra: "...there's a big black dog trapped in it who says he knows you."
“Is this the cousin that beats you, and whose dad used to lock you under the stairs?” Morris asked as he started widdling and carving the wand.
*
Morris stopped his widdling for a second and looked over his shoulder to Harry
*
Harry had a very strange dream that night, more like a nightmare really. He had been sitting front of the whole school just like the sorting, but instead of the sorting hat on his head he was wearing Professor Quirrell turbid, and it was telling him to be in Slytherin, and that it was his destiny, the turbid then began to crush him, then Draco and the Professor with the dark eyes appeared laughing at him telling him he was in the wrong house. Harry couldn’t move or breath because of Professor Quirrell turbid, but then Morris appeared and took his hands into his, he smiled at Harry, his eyes sparkling blue as he repeated over and over “it is our own choices in life, that show what we truly are” he began pulling Harry away from the dream.
*
Draco Malfoy and his guns Crabbe and Goyle sniggered loudly behind their hands.
esmestrella: Hmmm... gunslinger!Draco who has named his pair of shootin' irons "Crabbe" and "Goyle".
That's actually kind of awesome. :D
Snape then arrest the class “You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potionmaking," he began.
*
“Anyway back to the game, Flint, Slytherin captain lines up to the gaol with the Quaffle, he shoots.”
esmestrella: "OW!" says the prisoner within as Flint bounces the Quaffle off his head quite soundly.
* “Ro do you have any objections?” Al asked
“Tones but it doesn’t matter you all wont listen, so what time period?”
esmestrella: This fic Hertz.
“All in favour say I” Veronica said
“I” they all chorused.
*
“Okay relationships” Sara asked.
“Well that’s Jay, I’ll give you the short version I’ve known him since we were in dippers our parents were best friends.
* “This is not the place to discuss this.” He said as he turned to the carriages. “We will be leaving now.”
He stopped and turned to his guard. “I also want Daphne to be put in the dudgeons until further notice, for treason.”
esmestrella: And make sure it's the high dudgeon!
* I really have no idea how my grandfather puts up with him, I mean the retched man probably gets crucio’d daily.
I do not think that word means what you think it means
* Shaking herself out of her revelry, she sighed and spoke the password in a bored voice.
*
Albus stood at the foot of his bed, looking as omnipresent as ever and his eyes twinkling behind his half moon spectacles.
* She held his manhood and squeezed it hard making him yelp in pain. “Cheez what was that for!”
* Gods, Father made it seem so facile to make me feel like a 13 year old who’s managed to knock all of his fathers’ cauldrons full of expensive potions over…
*
Father stared, as if what I said was so inscrutable.
Longest block paragraph of doom
... was in Chapter 47 and was 1,042 words long. Damned if I’m reproducing it here.
Owl sex
* The moon hung high as Harry Potter looked out the window at Number 4 Privet Drive. His green eyes were mirrored with lust and his head hit the window with a thump. It was his 15th birthday, he only had a few more minuets to wait. The Dursleys had left for the week leaving him in to the whole house by himself. Hedwig rattled in her cage, looking at him with her fierce yellow eyes. “Hey, girl,” Harry tore himself away from the window, “Want to go out for a ride?”
* My eagle owl was sleeping, but not Hedwig, she was just looking at me and I gave her a charming smile.
Most felicitous instances of the ff.net character limit
* (the fic’s summary:)
The war is finally over. Voldermort is defeated and the Wizard world is safe. But the war has put deep marks on Hermione Granger´s soul. Marks that none of her friends can see. In fact no one noticed the deep pain Hermione feels, except for the one who f
A Trifecta Of Reliquaries, One Black Capote by bobthepurple
(the fic’s summary:)
A what if, when the hallows are united against a common purpose. The title isn't complete, due to the form rejecting the amount of space I wanted.
Worst titles
Harry PotterHouse?
And Then It Rayned
(Note: the Sue’s name is Rayne.)
Death To JKRowling
Mommy Draco
Lot’s Of Love
Give me a freaking cookie
Prolouge
DAMN RON I couldn’t think of a better name!
* (a chapter title:)
The Draco Malfoy Story Chapter .o01
eir_de_scania: ***A really, really short chapter?
Me: If only.
The most tortuous and overpopulated fic of all time
* (the fic’s summary:)
Harry, Ginny, Ron, Hermione, their kids, Victoire, and Teddy are somehow transported to an AU, where everyone knows that they AUed? What happens when there's a different BWL and Harry adopts that world's Harry? This is that story. R&R please!
*
“Yeah, I know,” Harry said, unable to take his eyes off the boy, “But… what if they want him back? After what they did to him? And how will all the kids and everyone react to this?”
He was referring to the fact that he, his wife, Ginny, and their three kids, Lily, James, and Albus, as well as Harry’s godson, Ron and his wife, Hermione and their kids Hugo and Rose, and the recently married engaged of Teddy and Victoire had just recently been caught in a spell and somehow had landed in a different world. plus the fact that 11 of the 13 people mentioned above didn’t know that they had adopted Harry Potter just that night.
*
“How many kids do you have again?” Lily asked politely, “Three?”
“Four,” Harry corrected her, knowing full well that she knew that. The publicity here was only marginally better than in his home world, since Ron, Hermione, Teddy, Victoire, Ginny, Lily, James, Al, Hugo, and Rose were there to share the publicity, as well as Adrian for being the ‘last’ one through the portal thing and coming two or so months after they had appeared in this alternate universe.
*
Once the dust settled, Harry looked around and semi-consciously located him family. Ron? Check. Hermione? Check. Rose? Check. Hugo? Check. Teddy? Check. Victoire? Check. Ginny? Check. Lily? Check. James? Check. Al? Check. Adrian? Not check.
ennta: Too many characters? Check. Sanity? Not check.
Ron was Ryan Blake West, and Hermione was Jean Jane West. Hugo was Hugo Ryan West, and Rose was Rose Flora West. Teddy was Ted John Larson, and Victoire was Victoire Claire West. Harry was Harry Jason Potter, Ginny was Jenny Laura Potter, Lily was Lillian Lilac Potter, James was Jake Reggie Potter, Albus was Al Stephan Potter, and that world’s Harry had been legally renamed Adrian Harold Potter.
Worst spell ever
* Out of the second carriage a small boy about the age of seven appeared. His features were obviously that of Daphne’s, but something hinted to Ginevera as wrong, something that was not noticeable unless you looked close and knew the bloodlines of the ‘pure’.
She lifted her hand in his direction and murmured. “Purious DNA Revealo.”
Eh?
* RunilWazlib has just entered the chatroom
TheSpewOfProngs: Hi Ron
RunilWazlib: Hi Harry, or the spew of prongs?
TheSpewOfProngs: Yeeeees? Whats wrong with that RUNILWAZLIB?
RunilWazlib: Nothing,nothing at all. But you do know Fred and George is going to start worshiping you when they find out?
* Twenty two year old Hermione Granger slammed her suitcase closed after putting the last piece of article in it.
ms_treesap: Forty thousand words on SPEW for the House Elf Summit in Geneva were enclosed.
* It wasn’t every day Lucius felt bewildered. The imposing wizard wanted some answers and he wanted the yesterday!
* Having breakfast in the almost empty hall, with the Weasley twins was an adventure. Avoiding eating one of their magic Christmas sweets that made you sing Christmas songs for the whole day they tried sneaking into his fried eggs.
esmestrella: What do you suppose they were hoping to find in there?
* I couldn't help but laugh as her dark brown eyes widened and she stumbled for an applogizy.
Strange romance
* “You look terrible.” Said Ron at breakfast. Hermione gave him one look and said:
“Continue on that line and I will make sure that some parts of you never will look the same again.” Ron looked terrified at the thought of which part she might hex and got really interested at the shape of his eggs.
* "Mr Malfoy and Miss Weasley!" Madam Pince said, "Out of my library at once. Your behaviour is outrageous."
With great reluctance Rose and Scorpius left the library.
"Nasty old bint," Rose said quietly. Scorpius nodded.
"My father said that she was picked up her title in the bordellos of France," Scorpius offered. Rose was intrigued.
* I smiled to myself and I looked over at Sirius to see his reaction, but his attention was fully on his new girlfriend, who was currently blowing him kisses; I grimaced and turned around trying to entertain myself with my pencil.
* “I got Oak and Sunny” Arianna quickly claimed the two gelding horses (the ones with no balls), for they are more calm than stallions (ones with balls) and less moody than the mares.
*
Arianna had always been more open about her pregnancy than Draco had been, most likely for the fact that Arianna was a girl, not yet a woman (1), and Draco a male.
eir_de_scania: ***Tell us about their balls, will you?
* (they are at the wandmaker’s:)
“Oh don’t worry; I’ll be fit for you and Sirius in a moment” he then took a pepper-up potion and was now ready for Sirius
“Well, Sirius, just repeat what the others did, and we’ll have your wood”
* At the age of fifteen my grandmamma considers everyone a woman.
Whether they’re ready for it or not, she sets them up for marriage.
jessstretch: Oh, think of the scarred little boys in that family!
* Harry found himself watching the memories of the Marauders when they were still in Hogwarts, seeing them playing their various pranks and Sirius' attempts to try and get a date for balls.
*
Hissing the password to open it, Harry prepared himself for any movement, fearing that the 1000 year old basilisk may have had children. When it became apparent that nothing bad was going to happen, Harry lit his wand and proceeded to enter the statue.
* Scorpius was smirking, resting his hands on his knees. "I do hope that you aren't too besmirched. I wouldn't want your father coming after me for tarnishing your maidenhead!" He laughed, carefree and young, it hurt Albus to hear.
*
When Albus entered the fifth year Slytherin rooms, his classmates took one look at his face and quickly left. However, as they were Slytherins, they discretely hovered outside, just in case something juicy was slipped out.
* “Now please off to your rooms.” “Except you three” (McGonagall) added hastily to Ron, Harry and Hermione. “If you please follow me II would like you to come in my new office.”
* Sharp teeth grabbed his sneaker causing Harry to fall heavily down on his stomach. Ron came up from behind him and took his hands, trying to play tug-a-war with the wolf. It would’ve been an amusing sight if it weren’t for the danger they were in. The red head gave a cry of fury and successfully pulled the shoe off Harry’s foot. Harry’s backpack flew off his shoulder but at the moment Harry didn’t give a damn. Giving a thankful grunt, they took off again but just as they were toeing the clearing to civilization- a painful prick inserted itself in Harry’s calf.
* "AH!" Yasmin screamed, but relieved herself when she realised it was only her blue-haired friend, Alexis.
* Harry could feel Ginny's lips on his as he gave into the kiss and literally explored her mouth.
rickfan37: Luckily, he had donned his pith helmet mere moments before, and his knapsack contained pitons, rope, and a sturdy torch.
* “No need to worry, none of us had Ho-school for eleven years so we had to prank each other to keep ourselves entertained” said Veronica
* I’m still looking at the window. I hear a loud crack. I look and standing close to me is Loly (the house-elf).
“Hi Loly” I say walking to him. I know he’s a man. He told me one’s when we were having a “conversation”.
* The Headmaster and the Gryffindor Head of House both sat down on either side of her bed. Her surly Potions Master preferred to learn against the cold stonewall, arms crossed in front.
esmestrella: Wow, Snape/Civil-War-general slash? Or is this Snape/country-singer slash?
* (the fic’s summary:)
When Ginny moves in with the Malfoy family when her own family is destroyed, she thinks it's the end of the world. Can she learn to live on, and do it with Draco Malfoy in the next room?
* (George is re-opening WWW after the war:)
I wanted to go join Ron and Hermione but mum's grip on my arm kept me in place. I think she was slightly nervous that George would pull something dangerous with his opening, trying to honor Fred as much as possible.
* They both turned to see Belatrix aim at them
“Say good bye, cousin!” she was about to cast the killing curse at them when Harry rammed her and they both fell to the ground
*
“DON’T YOU DARE CALL MY WIFE/MOTHER A MUDBLOOD!” Harry and James both called as one when Voldemort was about to finish his sentence
thelittlebudgie: Oedipus with a time-travel twist?
* Fred smiled, watching a women begin to pile boxes of Skeeving Snack boxes into her arms.
The sorting hat has lost it
* good thing Lestat and Louis were in Ravenclaw and Armand was in Hufflepuff, seeing as how this could take some time
Go to jail. Go directly to jail. Do not pass Go. Do not collect £200
* The marauders had no classes with Peter and he was never apart from them other than that, so this was his only chance to talk without the fear of Peter over hearing.
Most repetitive paragraph
* The soft summer breeze made him shiver. Breezes always made him shiver for a unexplained reason. The warm breezes always went straight down his spine, spreading the shiver while the cold ones just let him shiver like he’d jumped into a lake in which the temperature was below five degrees Celsius. It drove him mad. They made him shake like leaves on a full grown tree, which also danced along with the wind and shone softly from the reflection of the sun.
Fascinating and completely relevant descriptions of the characters’ clothes
* This gave me the time to look at what he was wearing and damn did the outfit do him some good. His sweater was a deep emerald green that was tight enough to show off his perfect muscular chest. His jeans were black and straight legged with a silver belt that I believe had snakes on it, I couldn’t really tell though, but maybe later if I’m lucky. And on his feet where a pair of black and green converse with, and this time I’m sure, silver snakes moving around.
* This time, Yasmin was, surprisingly, faster than the bluenette. As always, she had completed her look with the usual side ponytail and light makeup. Today, she was clad in a pink halter top and a jean skirt that went to mid-thigh, and flip-flops adorned her feet.
The shower turned, and 5 minutes later, Alexis came out of the bathroom with wet hair. She was, unlike her fashion friend, wearing a black t-shirt with silver graffiti writing on and a pair of olive coloured three-quarter lengths. A black hoodie was around her waist, and her laces on her trainers were currently being tied.
* Draco rolled his eyes and wondered why anyone even bothered to contradict his father. Mid-roll his grey eyes met briefly with ice blue orbs, staring intently at him. He was beautiful, in a rugged kind of way, with yesterdays on his chin, shiny dark blonde hair, so dark it almost looked black, white t-shirt, jeans, leather jacket and biker boots. Draco blushed faintly under the mans intense gaze, but didn’t get the chance to greet as his father ushered him to follow Xavier to his study.
*
He had unpacked all of his things and had dressed in a pair of black slacks a white cotton shirt and a simple thin silver grey, open necked cashmere jumper.
* On the steps to Gringotts he stood wearing what appeared to be a black, long- sleeved (of course) silk shirt. The material was blown tightly against his chest by the warm breeze. The last few buttons of the shirt were not done as were the first few, which practically were not done up so that he would get a breeze and not get too warm. However it caused Hermione to blush because she could see, when the shirt was blown askew properly, a small and endearing black treasure trail escaping into the waist of his pants. His hands were hidden in the pockets of said steely blue cargo pants, which clung desperately to his hips as they were rather loose. His eyes were hidden underneath the sunglasses Professor Snape had given him nearly two years prior, today the glasses were light blue and the frames black. Again no surprise there.
* So that was it, it’s was (unfortunately) time to go home.
Make a grand entrance.
Arrive unexpectedly.
Rouse chaos.
Whatever the hell you want to call it.
So grabbing my suede light blue messenger, I took up my gray Armani sunglasses and slid them over my eyes, taking one last look over my flat before apparating to the outskirts of the manor.
I breathed in the natural air, just felling the presence of, home. Despite what I said earlier, I’m glad to be home… I’m just not keen to the fact of dealing with everyone.
I strolled thru the trees on the pathway wearing dark Armani jeans and an Armani black chain detail shirt.
vivian_lake: "You can make a grand entrance, etc., etc., etc. - but don't you step on my blue suede messenger..."
* Harry James Potter, one of the most powerful wizards alive at the age of twenty three years stood in the middle of London with burning debris all around him. He was 5’11’’ in height and had messy black hair. He had the most amazing green eyes and a lightening bolt scar on his left forehead.
It was raining heavily and he was looking into the sky letting the rain splatter against his face. There was absolute silence except for the noise of the rain falling on the ground and lightening flashing across the sky. He held his wand loosely at his side and was wearing black robes with a sword hanging on one side.
Worst animal cruelty
* (Fred and George fangirls are sending the Sue hate-mail:)
First was a howler, which Elle happily opened, unaware of what is really was. Then came a box of poisoned chocolates, which Ginny was able to spot and chucked them. After came an assortment of owl’s, some with curses, some with nasty animals hidden inside, and then the ones that just said very mean things.
Snappiest lines
* “Harry could you, and I mean this in the nicest way, shut the fuck up,” Severus said looking up from the table with an obvious bug up his ass.
esmestrella: So OOC. *eyeroll* Severus would never say "I mean this in the nicest way".
However, I am now picturing Alan Rickman delivering this line and I think I am going to die from hilarity. BEST SNAPE LINE EVER.
* Forge: HE IS DOING IT AGAIN GAAAAAAAAH RUN FOR YOUR LIVES, SAVE YOURSELF! TO THE LIFE BOATS! WOMEN AND HANDSOME TWINS FIRST!
* “They are Spaniards!” Hermione told me cause Ron kept on being too astonished for speaking.
* Seeing the curious look on Harry's face when he mentioned 'elemental travel', he added, “elemental travel is when an elemental travels via their element.
* “JUST GIVE ME A FREAKING COOKIE!” Hermione exclaimed shaking her head like a crazy woman, her hair going all over the place.
* Rosa looked around the shop. There were very few of people. ‘Maybe it’s very morning so people haven’t come yet.’
* The bronze-haired genius flared her nostrils and turned on her heel.
* "Oomph! I am above such womanhandling!" Scorpius said.
* Arianna simply nodded afraid of the wrinkly woman.
Worst summaries
* AU. Harry Potter has two lives: 1. the boy who lived and 2. Doitvite the juggler.
plaid_slytherin: There are no words...
Me: I was hoping somebody else might know who Doitvite The Juggler was. Like, that he was a character from a Pratchett novel or something.
eir_de_scania: Pratchett is NOT, I repeat: NOT involved with any Doitvite the Juggler.
But perhaps we can hope DtJ goes to Ankh-Morpork to find a bright new career as a mime?
* Ron cheats on Hermione and Blaise comes to her rescue. Well, kind of. Like delayed or something, but whatever. Could this MEAN something? duh BH fluff. REVIWWWWW!
* Trelawney has made a Prophecy about HP.Merlin has made a Prophecy about a Snape.Which proves true?Will Sage and HP finally get on?3rd in series.AwardWinnngAuthor!
* The worlds of Magic and Mutants are about to come together. As the lines are drawn in the sand questions of Blood, DNA, and compassion are voiced acrossed the lands.
Bewared readers don’t tack light of what you read. There is knowledge to be gained and lessoned to be learned and only with both can you hope to gain a better understanding of …..
NOTHING just making that up.
* Rayne Devillian, a 17 year old, trouble making American with a bad attitude switches to Hogwarts school. TriangleLove!
thelittlebudgie: Harry stared in disbelief at her graceful, long hypotenuse, her elegant vertices, and her precise altitudes. He couldn't help but imagine seeking out her cosine, slowly measuring her altitudes, and sensually labeling her orthocenter.
"Merlin," Ron whispered. "Look at the external angles on her."
All Harry could do was nod.
* It starts in DOM and I'm not going to say anything else OC' and Cross-over HP/RL/SB HP/FG/S HP/RL/FG HP/SB/S HP/FG/RL/SB/S
* After marrying a muggle and adopting her son,Draco soon discovers the boy is a wizard. When Hogwarts comes calling,Draco is dragged back into the world he had abandoned,his past and a new evil,waiting to claim him one final time. DM/HP/GW/RW/HG & the kids
anayra_hirialen: I'm confused. Is this a character listing, or an indication of a multi-ship, incestuous orgy?
* Harry and Ginny and Ron and Hermione die of natural causes, of course and, erm, all at the same time. They go to the afterlife, or whatever you want to call it. They meet everyone up there, and watch over their children, who aren’t.
* Warning: possible citrus content.
* Harry Potter and the Atlanteans: Harry Potter and crew are transported to the land of the Atlantians! And things happen! I kinda forget what, so Soul-sis and I are gonna have to remember the plot soon...
* harry defeats voldemort and gets transported to a diff dimension. no boy who lived,but prophecy exists. Potters do not exist.
jessstretch: But luckily they still have glaziers and blacksmiths, otherwise it'd really suck.
Vampire-related bastardisations of Snape’s name
* Tsubaki's new trio: Remus, Sirius, and Severus. Their girls? Luna, Ginny, and...I don't wanna say. You'll have to read to find out. But it's a good hot, bloody read, especially since SevvyPoo's a vampire. X3
* ...sometimes, something so bad happens that a terrible sadness is carried with it and the soul can't rest. Then sometimes, just sometimes, the crow can bring that soul back to put the wrong things right. SSHP Ds abuse, VampSev, character death, SLASH
Most honest author’s note
* I also think that this ending is really corny. Lucius is totally out of character. Oh well.
Really crap author’s notes
* hey guys :D!!! my first fanfic do be kind, dont completely grill me if somethings not good. help me!! anyway i thought i'd trail this i originally wrote a similar story to this before buti've mixed it up a little bit, ohh and please review remeber two word CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISISM there greatly appreciated anyway i'll stop boring you the show must go on ciao!! x x
esmestrella: *Grills the author on one side only, to medium-rare*
* This is for my sister’s for her birthday. I am poor; therefore I am writing her a story with some of her favorite paring. I hope it’s good. Happy Birthday Sissy! Oh, and more thing, thanks go to my beloved Mike, for editing my story. (It stole part of his soul…lol.) Oh, crap, one more thing, this doesn’t follow the Harry Potter books, not really, but sort of and I own nothing.
* So, what do you think? I tried to take it word for word from the movie.
* A/N: did you get what tune he was humming? Well, you know.. the one that allways commes when something bad happes it goes down.. like dumdumdum... yeah whatever...
ija_ijewna: Like, totally! Dumdumdum, right? I knew it!!1eleven!!
* Now you might be wondering if I preferred any of those four witches/wizards who were the most powerful magical folk from way back then. Or, more commonly called the quartet (A/N: It took me longer then it should to learn that you call a group of four people a quartet) founders of Hogwarts.
anacolouthon: I... can't even snark on that. It's just so sad, and why would you admit that in the middle of your fic of all places (or at all, really)?
* Rating: PG 13 maybe R later on all thou dote it
Warnings: x-over, sifi, slightly AU, mentions of child, season 2-4 of x-men evo. , All 5 if not all 6 books, changes to both series
anayra_hirialen: Aah, run for your lives! There's a child in this fic! Cover your eyes before you are scarred for life by these foul mentions of children.
* 1AUTHORS NOTE: I do not own anything Harry Potter. I cannot garuntee all the names are right either...I enjoy the movies but have never really been able to read the books, but I get my information from a person who reprimands everything I type wrong about Harry Potter. I Love you Luke-kun :3 ENJOY THE STORY YO 8D
* A/N: Please comment. If you don’t’, how can I know that what you think about this story? If you want, I can make Draco make love to Rosa when she is in the boy form!
shocolate: No - I not want!!!
* Pay Atchison to this Warnings:
vivian_lake: Who is Atchison and why should I pay him?
...I am saying this once and only once that I’m throwing all religion out the window. I will be making up my own story on the afterlife and who the PTB’s are, There will be Some mention of RAPE, slash/fem slash, harms, sex change’s. The only person who I will promise that will stay strate is Harry...
anayra_hirialen: Which must make this fic practically unique!
...But don’t worry about me making everyone gay because I WON’T.
eir_de_scania: You won't? Then I'm not reading it. *sulks*
* Hi everyone, I'm Anne and I'm 18.
My dad is british, my mom was portuguese. I live in Portugal since I was little but I dominate english quite well.
esmestrella: Not well enough, apparently.
* i I reject your reality and substitute it for my own. /i
anayra_hirialen: I reject your crappy html and substitute my own.