I need to learn to stop, step back, acess and then react.

even those who had been poking fun or discouraging are now being supportive.

since 16 I've taken every step on my own, that's when it all started. I had to grow up quick, figure out who I was and how I'd go about dealing with my issues. up until just about four years ago I had thought I was doing everything correctly but truth be told I was far from correct. I couldn't have handled situations anyworse. after years of ( Read more... )

I'm coming up on the bridge and I'm movin' quick.

I found out something I really didn't want to know last night, but at the same time I needed to know. I brought it upon myself though, I forced this. I should've stopped but I couldnt , I never can ( Read more... )

You know that ghost is me and I won't ever be set free as long as I'm a ghost that you can't see.

i'm taking out a loan and buying a new truck this week. i don't know why i bothered writing that what i really wanted to write was that i have to start sobering up... i haven't had more than 3 or 4 sober nights in the past 2 years. i have been cutting back though on cigarettes too. i don't know anymore fuck this

i'm torn up inside

ever wonder what it'd be like to jump and to never again have your feet touch the ground?
i do, almost every day.

430am wake up drive mom and dad to the hospital on 17th and 2nd
630am get to starbucks, buy coffee
730am arrive at work finish coffee
430pm works done get more coffee
730pm wings and beer
930pm bedtime hopefully

i did it they stuck me with the needle.
felt like a mother-fucker.
i also saw little rodents running across the street a little while earlier.