BEWARE: The following chain of events may shock readers of the suburban variety, especially those who have lived in, are familiar with, or have driven through the town of PIKESVILLE, MARYLAND ( Read more... )

I'M GOING TO ISRAEL THIS NEW YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bubble tea causes horrendous stomach aches and possibly even diharrea.

Consider this a PSA.

I go to a school in a place where I can cure my homesickness by seeing Sweeney Todd on its closing night. Incredible ( Read more... )

I'm leaving for--no, moving to--NYC.

See you 300 miles north.

Much thanks to the all-knowing and almighty astronomers who have successfully confirmed all of my long-held beliefs about my elementary education. I always knew that the public school system did nothing but feed us LIES LIES LIES, and now that I have NASA on my side, I believe that no other goal in my life remains unaccomplished.

In the past month, I've managed to go from....

( this )

I think that my pre-Spain entry left a healthy air of mystery about "mi amor Espanola huidizo" -- my elusive Spanish love. After much soul-searching and incomprehensible Castillian grammar while strutting around La Rambla like a wannabe Barcelona sophisticate, I have found the answer:

( A Tribute to Jose Marti, Picasso, and All Other Hombres CALIENTES Who Faught So Valliantly To Preserve Our Right to Self-Expression )

The true test of one´s language fluency is her ability to ask for and to understand street directions while drunk.

Hoy, soy una chica.

Cuando yo regreso, seré una mujer FABULOSA.

Pensaré de ustedes cuando encuentro mi amor española en Barcelona....

Más sobre la definición del "amor Española huidizo" cuando regresamos.

Hasta luego,

La Heroína Personal De Todos