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Happy FUCKING birthday to me!
Nobody likes you when you're 23... but fuck them anyway. :) -
Joy to the world, the Lord has cum...
Also, the saviour rains. Rains CUM. Ahahahahahahaha ( Read more... ) -
I think I should enter more competitions.
No, seriously. If I enter every competition I see, I'm bound to win something eventually right? Right? Gotta be in it to win it and all that jazz ( Read more... ) -
Fancy a quicky?
No, you dirty sluts. I'm not going to sleep with you ( Read more... ) -
Nobody steals from MY shop.
So these two little girls are running around in my shop today. And they steal some pick 'n' mix.
So I went outside, saw them eating it, saw their parents and dobbed them in.
Little fuckers were old enough to know better.
Ha ha, you turds got caught by the manager. Bet your parents won't let you come back any time soon. -
Dreams, Dreams In Silent Memory.
Hey, brain? FUCK YOU. Stop giving me weird-arsed dreams ( Read more... ) -
Anicdotes R Us
I saw one of my friends today, and she says to me "I just don't know what to do, my boyfriend is moving!"
I say, "He's moving? Well hit him again! Remember, it's all in the wrist." -
...And a big FUCK YOU to Canberra's public transport system.
So Action's all like "NEW IMPROVED BUS ROUTES LOL!!" And I'm all like "YAY! No more shitty Waramanga buses ( Read more... ) -
Dear FUCKING diary.
I just ate my rubber-backed labret bar.
Well I assume I did. It was there before lunch, and when I finished eating it was gone.
I ate it.
OM NOM NOM.