i have my own website.

it is.

web.mac.com/cosmojess

there's not much on it yet. it's really fun though.

i really hate nights like this. i feel like i'm not being true to myself. i know who i am i know what i want, i'm telling myself that i'm just having some fun. i mean i'm not doing anything, i have no intention of doing anything.

i dont knoowww

i leave in 18 days or 19. i dont know. i dont leave soon enough.

As I've been reloading my ipod I just put in all these old cds and i'm like... wow. i remember exactly where i was when i got this when i was i heard it and it meant something ( Read more... )

So today, I actually saw someone who made my heart skip a beat.

that was a forgotten feeling.

I know her, I've hung out with her. But she looked damn fine today and I really wish I wasn't at work.

SHIT

She ain't even got a name
She just lives in my brain

hahahaha ( Read more... )

i'm not that complicated really, and if i weren't so afraid of some people that i left behind i would actually cinsider being single, but i'm not cinsidering and i'm still afraid.

just some days i wish i could get in my car and drive south in hopes of finding something to take my mind off things, unfortunately, that just doesn't happen.... ever.

( Read more... )

So as of lately my life has been less than wonderful.
financiall troubles, bitter parental unit divorce, working tooo much, not enough time, taking crap out on my girlfriend, getting high with people i shouldn't, ya know the usual downers in my life.

and close people said to me that it's ok. you've hit bottom things can only get better. keep my ( Read more... )

i miss people. strange things are happening to me. i need to go back on my heart steroids. i need to see my cardiologist. i need like $600 to magically appear (come on tax returns!) I need a new social life*, I want to go skating but I'm too afraid... and tired of it, I want may to be here and over and then july so I can accept my school of choice ( Read more... )

i can't help thinking about what happened last time. thats really what stems all this mess. sitting alone at a store in part of a town you try to not venture into alone gives you time to think. adn the temptation to call people you shouldn.t but i dind't instead i thought about how freaking hungry i was. eh. the past presents the future.  ew ( Read more... )