sometimes...

...it just isn't enough...

and i don't understand why.

beauty heightens the senses.
      humor forces a smile.
           infatuation makes us weak.
love makes us ridiculous.

life is messy. and i don’t find its timing joyous or amusing... i find it confusing and most frustrating. there is no delight in the irony of the subject. i’m tired of being held at a distance. sought after only when it is ( Read more... )

( Read more... )

wow... it certainly has been a long time since i've updated this thing... to be honest not that much has changed since my last entry. i mean everything has changed, but i... am still in the same boat. torn between what my heart says to do, and what my head says to do. longing for an easy way out. i will never find anything in life to be easy though ( Read more... )

i learned something interesting at school today...

Betrayal is at the very bottom of the circles of hell; it is the worst sin according to Dante in Dante’s Inferno... go figure...

P.S. i'm sorry, i shouldn't have stopped, i should have just kept on driving.

BUT i miss you, AND i shouldn't... thank you ( Read more... )

you don’t know how much it hurts not talking to you...you have no idea, but i swore to myself i wouldn’t run back to you and i promised myself that i would be strong because what you have done to me is wrong... in fact it’s more than wrong.  and you should have thought about that before any of this happened. i have been hurt and lied to and ( Read more... )

I feel like screaming, just shouting at the top of my lungs. I feel like breaking down, crying myself to sleep. I feel like giving up...

Jordan and I decided (again) that we are going to see other people, and each other. Whether or not this is going to work, is up to Him (^). It hasn’t worked so far, so the chances are slim to none. BUT, we are ( Read more... )

I miss the break... the end of my break was pretty darn good. Friday night I went to Chili’s and then to see Pride and Prejudice with Sarah. Good food, good talks, good movie, good times playing games in the arcade and whatnot... overall a great night. Then Saturday I went to the movies with Jordan and saw Walk the Line which was another good movie ( Read more... )

I hate crying myself to sleep; you always end up with crap all over your face and your pillow when you wake up...

AHHHH, I hate the way things are right now. My life has NEVER been such a mess and I have NEVER felt this much pain. Yesterday was like the worst day ever. If you saw me at school, you knew that. Well it only got worse as the day ( Read more... )

So apparently I should have seen this shit with (name not to be revealed) coming because everyone else did after they saw ya’ll together all the time. And for that, you are a jerk. You don’t care how much you’re hurting me or what a fucking asshole you can be about things. I’m glad being whatever with her is worth my sadness. Congratulations, you ( Read more... )