I know I made promises. I...I can't keep them. I love this country, but things are so difficult.

I'm leaving.

So...this is good bye Japan.

I need to replace the engine? Are you fucking kidding me? I don't have that kind of money!! Fenrir's engine blew out the other day and I don't have any parts. Nor do I have a full engine to replace it with. I'm not buying one, because everything Fenrir is, I built...and looking at some parts...What the hell?Junk yard didn't help either ( Read more... )

Work was incredibley boring. I think...think I was given a post, but I ended up wandering around. Found a practise room, not sure if I was allowed to go in. But I did anyway. Shooting practise didn't appeal, but I found a...bamboo cane. Yes, yes I know it sounds pathetic. It was the closest thing to a blade I could find ( Read more... )

I hate America. I hate jet-lag. I hate how everyone is freaking out. I hate drama.

I hate hangovers.

Fuck off world.

Things just get worse.

I'm not right in the head, and apparently emotionally unresponsive. Oh and I've to see a psychologist again. Great.

It's good not being alone again.

[Private]

Just hope I never have to feel alone again.

.........Well shit.

I had a horrible nightmare. There was blood everywhere. Women and children screaming, running, only to be shot dead. There was fire, and the stench of death was just clinging to the air. Oh God it was horrible! But it felt so real, I could feel the fire. I could feel the bullets wizzing by.

I miss Tifa...I miss Denzel and Zack. Fuck I just ( Read more... )

It's been a year since my complete breakdown. Well...A year since I realised...things weren't right. It's been a year since I was reported MIA. For a whole year, I've been avoiding anyone to do with the army. I can't afford it. I don't want to be caught and taken back, getting charged, or court marshaled. -Sigh ( Read more... )