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[createdestiny]

We were spinning wishes in the phases of the moon that night when our burdens dissolved into a pool of liquid mica. You said divine rebellion is in the air and the darkness is ripe with receptivity

Comments

[halfshellvenus]

Gorgeous writing!

I especially liked We were spinning wishes in the phases of the moon and threw flammable on your stars..

Not so much the universe is dressed in drag because it's contemporary slang, and nearly everything else here seems as if it could be as old as language itself. It suspends the timelessness of the rest of this piece.

[createdestiny]

Thank you so much for making me aware of that....I agree, slang does not belong in this piece. This knowledge will come in handy next time. :)

[halfshellvenus]

I was pretty sure you wouldn't have intended that, or I wouldn't have mentioned it. I love what you do with imagery in this story.

Perhaps "dressed in disguise" instead? Or "cloaked and costumed"? I know that neither has quite the same connotations as your original, but the flow is good and it preserves the alliteration. Which I tend to like, myself, probably a little too much. :)

[createdestiny]

Thank you. :)

[pixiebelle]

Wow, the details and everything are just so colorful!

[createdestiny]

Thanks! :)

[roina_arwen]

Very colorful.

[createdestiny]

Thanks for reading me. :)

[jem0000000]

Very abstract, but pretty!

[createdestiny]

Thank you. :)

[jem0000000]

You're welcome. :)