Unfair

Oct 12, 2006 22:48

My relationships are so unfair ( Read more... )

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furious_beauty October 15 2006, 15:29:47 UTC
I won't be with anyone again. Because I just can't. I hate myself so much. I want to die but I won't do it myself. More than anything, I just want to know who would miss me if I did. Who are my real friends... If anyone loved me even with my mental illness... Whether anyone would regret not learning to live with my BPD and in turn learning about it and being patient. Whether the people that have recently left me would come back and take me back under their wing of friendship...
Because right now, I can't even be a friend. Because I'm nothing. So I can't help you with your relionship, I can only tell you that I feel the same.

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creativename23 October 15 2006, 22:47:21 UTC
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry that this reminded you of hurting so badly.
I'm not sure HE'S willing to work through it either. He says he is, but when push comes to shove, he fuckin'... acts as though I'm NOT sick. And I am. So... not sure it's gonna last. Of course... just like ALL my friendships, and ALL my relationships...
Mr. "I'll-stick-with-you-through-anything" has left me 3 times...
Probably soon to be four.
Maybe for the best...
I would miss you. Hard to believe, yes... but you've given me so much already, just by... UNDERSTANDING.

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furious_beauty October 17 2006, 15:05:47 UTC
You have nothing to be sorry about :)

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beccachuness October 17 2006, 15:03:22 UTC
i feel like my boyfriend deserves so much more than me. i hate hurting him. yet, at the same time, i just can't bear to part with him. confusing, isn't it...

i've been told BPD can be cured. Therapists of mine have seen it cured.
i think it will always fester deep inside us no matter what, but, guess i won't know until im cured! haha.

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creativename23 October 20 2006, 04:22:23 UTC
I sure as hell hope it can be cured. :^)
My therapist seems to think that it can be gotten control of. So, there's that. I guess I have THAT.

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