I am VERY pleased to hear that you enjoyed your unexpected clipping. We here at Remington believe that, whether our customers want them or not, we will give periodic trimmings via our patented "unexpected pop-off trimmer." I'm sure your new look is exactly what you we intended it to be. I'm sure your "'stache and goatee" are quite striking, and we are very pleased that we were able to make you hate yourself.
Thank you for taking the time to inform us of your enjoyable experience with our wonderful trimmer. Perhaps you would like to try our brand-new attachment that randomly reduces or increases the length of hair left after trimming. That way, you will not lose all the hair in the randomly-selected area. Instead, you will have a randomly uneven beard of dynamic proportions.
Comments 4
If it makes you feel any better, I like the no beard look.
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I am VERY pleased to hear that you enjoyed your unexpected clipping. We here at Remington believe that, whether our customers want them or not, we will give periodic trimmings via our patented "unexpected pop-off trimmer." I'm sure your new look is exactly what you we intended it to be. I'm sure your "'stache and goatee" are quite striking, and we are very pleased that we were able to make you hate yourself.
Thank you for taking the time to inform us of your enjoyable experience with our wonderful trimmer. Perhaps you would like to try our brand-new attachment that randomly reduces or increases the length of hair left after trimming. That way, you will not lose all the hair in the randomly-selected area. Instead, you will have a randomly uneven beard of dynamic proportions.
Love,
Remington Titanium Beard Trimmer
PS Fuck you too, you beard fiend, you!
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now, that would be embarrassing.
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