I hate being lonely. That's why I got a dog.. last year. And my dog is currently in michigan, and has been since july. I won't be able to get him for another 3 weeks.. and feeling like I'm being ignored does not help my loneliness.. which turns into depression. It sucks so badly. I hate it, but what am i supposed to do when I live by myself and the ( Read more... )

I'm trying something new: a new outlook. Things have to get really hard before they get better.. and yes, things are hard right now.. but, in other aspects of my life they're not. I can only think of one thing to do: just keep moving. The more I throw myself into working and working to find another job, the more likely I am to not only get one, but ( Read more... )

It's just too hard. Why do I keep putting myself through this? We can't be done, can we? But it's so hard to stay together, I'm so sick of the fighting and hearing "I'm done" almost every week. Why? Why do I keep listening? Why do I keep proding for more? Why do I feel like I need it to live, like oxygen or water? Why ( Read more... )

Apparently, I was kidding when I said everything was going good. My personal life is never-ending shambles that I keep making it, and that just makes everything else seem so much worse. If my personal life is good, everything is good. If my personal life is crap, well, then everything else feels like it's ruined and that I'll never make anything ( Read more... )

I feel like absolute death today. My stomach hurts so badly, I just don't know what to do.. I took some medicine, called out of work, and hopefully i'll feel better tonight at some point ( Read more... )

 It's amazing ( Read more... )

 You know what I'm good at? Hiding things when I'm at work. hiding how I'm really feeling. Sure, I act happy, smile, be super nice and friendly to everyone... but I'm not. Not at all.

It was what I used to do in high school too. Act. I got really good at it too. No one knew what kind of things were going on at home. No one needed to know. In ( Read more... )

Who am I ( Read more... )

 Tonight was my first shift at work serving by myself. Making my own money, not making money for someone else. Oh, it felt so good!! Not just making my own money (which i promptly spent all on groceries after) but to talk to people, to get back into the swing of working. For me, working as a server can turn a bad day into a happy one. I walk into ( Read more... )

 This emotional roller coaster has exhausted me. And my stomach and back have been hurting today, so I've spent more time laying on my bed than I have doing anything else today. I could honestly take a nap too. I've been awake since about 8, and actually took a shower, did my hair and all that by about 12, but here I am, laying back on my bed. ( Read more... )