I feel so deflated ( Read more... )

It's amazing to me.. the last year (well over a year) has been so.. challenging. Pretty much just because of decisions I've made, always a choice, and usually the wrong one.

I used to see other peoples' happiness - whether it be getting married, having a baby, moving, getting a job they love - and be jealous. 'Why can't that be me?' I was always ( Read more... )

This last week, I've really noticed my low blood pressure is back. I've had slight chest pains too. It doesn't help things that I've had a bad cold (which I thought was almost gone) for a week too. I felt like I had something stuck in my throat last night too :/ I wish I had some form of insurance so I could get checked out. I don't know if I have ( Read more... )

More than anything in the world, I want that one person who would make me feel so special and loved... cherished, trusted, not necessarily complete - because I definitely am my own person - but who fills in what I might be missing. For some reason, it's an overwhelming need to me. Yes, I have my family and friends that always make me feel loved.. ( Read more... )

Time for me to put it all out there.. at least somewhere ( Read more... )

Its been months since I posted. I've been working so hard the last few months, some weeks are better than others. Personally, things have been difficult, but I feel like I'm on a better road, even if there are bumps along the way. I'm still having a hard time discussing things without just breaking down and shutting off, and I want to learn how to ( Read more... )

I have realized today that all my bills are paid this month (at least 1 week if not 3 early!) AND my account isn't at zero or negative! I am in shock. I never knew how good this could feel. I finally feel like a productive adult. It may not seem like a big deal to anyone else, but for me to be able to finally be able to pay everything (except car ( Read more... )

A list of random thoughts as of late ( Read more... )

I am so craving a career. Something that is normal hours (mostly), mon-fri or even saturdays sometimes too, insurance, decent pay, that I can be happy with for a long, long time. Or at least a few years. I just can't find something that I think would be perfect for me.. but maybe trying to find perfection is too much.. I know I want something with ( Read more... )

So, last monday was the beginning of our Biggest Loser challenge at work. I weigh myself here at home, and thought I was going to be around 131.. thinking I could lose about 15 lbs. Welll.. my scale was off (and it was later in the day) so I weighed-in at work, and was at 142. Which is fine by me, because it's all going away anyway. I'm proud of ( Read more... )