I am so sick of taking the grunt for everything in my life! I go above and beyond the call of duty here, but because I do, I also get all the slack for it! It sucks so much. I am tired of being bitched at for trying to help others in this position ( Read more... )

So, I went home this weekend, and it was alright. It was nice to not have any responsibilites, but everyone was tiptoeing around me. I want things back to where they were before! Where I smiled everyday, was happy most of the time, and things just rolled off my back. I feel like I am in such a haze right now! I am just not happy right now, and ( Read more... )

So, I came home for the weekend. It took me six hours to get home on the damn trains. With delays and all. I can't wait to get my car, then I will be in control of how long it will take me. I didnt get in till about 8:30 (Chicago time) so I just came home, played with our puppy emma, relaxed, and took a bubble bath. Still feeling blah though ( Read more... )

I can NOT sleep for the life of me! Who knows the reason why, but no matter how hard I try I cannot sleep! I will lay down for hours, and just toss and turn being restless! What is wrong with me? If the sun is up, I can nap for hours. But, at night, my mind is racing a thousand miles/minute, I toss and turn, have a ciggarette, eat, and think ( Read more... )

I am so grateful to have you all in my life!! A lot of people saw me struggling, and a few of you reached out to help in any way possible. Even if it was just a conversation, or a home cooked meal. I am feeling better, and taking proactive steps to become the person I was before. I miss being the happy go lucky, who gives a shit girl. And I ( Read more... )

When you reach out to someone for help, and they dont reach back it hurts a tad. But, when youre already down, it hurts soo much more. It's not her fault though, if she knew what I was going through, and what I was thinking she'd be here in a heartbeat! I am feeling so empty, like in a fog of some sort. I can't pin point a reason why I feel ( Read more... )

I am soooo confused right now. I dont know whats right or wrong. I feel like transferring school would be the best thing for me to do. But, could I live at home again?? Could I leave all the people I love here?? There is so much controversy, disrespect, and immature people here, I can't take it anymore. People act out on purpose and they have ( Read more... )

So there's a big party going on tonight that just about everyone is going to, including my best friend. And I am not going because that just isnt my atmosphere. Cops are probably going to bust it and I dont want to be sprinting back to my room. With my big bro being here, I feel that I have to entertain him. And I shouldnt have to feel that ( Read more... )

So, I fell asleep last night at about 3 a.m., which really good for me. And I woke up to my alarm, which I shut off and fell back asleep, and didn't wake up until after 3p.m. Got over 12 hours of sleep, what the hell is wrong with me??? My big bro came to visit me from Iowa today. It's sooo good to see him though. I miss him a lot. It is just ( Read more... )

I am sooo drained. I have been so busy lately. Between the charity talent show, the conference my boss made me go to, being on duty, and getting all my work done for classes, I feel like I have no time for myself anymore!!! Even at night, when I am trying to watch TV late at night, I can't cause I have to control my loud disrespectful residents ( Read more... )