its not supposed to be easy and i know that and its not. im just not ready to make that kind of change. maybe when i go home and see him ill change my mind. but for now id like to keep going. i never meant to push him that much. and i know he never meant to make me sad. but we both did and you cant change that. so were going to try to make it work ( Read more... )

i never hung out with the "cool" kids for a reason that i was reminded of tonight: theyre really not that cool, attractive, or fun. but i guess i did have a pretty good time learning ( Read more... )

i havent felt myself. what i mean is ive felt like im watching myself rather than being myself. rather than participate i sit around and watch. i dont know what this feeling is but its not one that id like to keep around. the past three weeks have not been good. its that simple. it actually has only been about two weeks. things are so much easier ( Read more... )

sometimes the less you know about a person the better off you are.

it seems that the simple idea of a proposal sends me into a fit of anxiety and panic. or maybe it was the hookah. it was probably the hookah and thinking about the idea of a proposal that did it. i love him i really do but who knew that the idea of the future, just the idea because nothing has actually been proposed, could affect me that way. i ( Read more... )

things really arent as bad as they seem ( Read more... )

a recent coworker is going through an extremely difficult situation in a two-year relationship. one wants to end it. one doesnt want to end it. the one that wants to end it also wants to stay friends but date other people. the one that doesnt want to end it wants to know what to do. all in all the situation is a bitch. i told coworker to give it ( Read more... )

sorry about that

im not sure whats going on with me right now. im a little bit afraid. i feel like ive lost all of my friends. its actually more like im not myself. ive lost myself? this weekend was miserable. i feel like i slept through it even though i got maybe 5 hrs the whole weekend. i hate hearing about my sisters "good grades" and "athletic abilities" ( Read more... )

drag queens, highs, lows, tits magee, drunken pictures of lauren, drunk on sunday, drunk on monday, drunk on tuesday, movie lists, stoney mcstonerson, shiny cowboy boots, leopard print bakinis, rap, lauryn hill, roadtrips, the beatles, lame gay clubs, wednesday night roadtrips to richmond, music, reann ballslee, never going to dc, talking about ( Read more... )