A schadenfreudal orgasm.

[cruelbitch]

Delightful.

Author's Note: This lengthy diatribe was inspired by a sf-drama post -- a forum I do not attend, nor do I desire becoming invested in -- which elicited a severe twitch of irritation within me. I, very reluctantly, said nothing. After all, why would I, somebody who devotes massive amounts of their time into Dare-I-Say-PC research, ever want to

Comments

[chessdev]

Several questions if I may:

And this question is PURE IGNORANCE on my part, so please forgive me.
1. Does asexual mean equally attracted to both sexes? Or does it mean equally apathetic to both sexes?

2. Does asexual outlooks affect your ability to work?
How?

3. Why do you feel groups that campaign on acceptance, seem to likewise find others to not accept? Is that a failure in the sexual identity definitions used, or is it just pure hypocrisy?

I'm asking questions out of pure ignorance and curiousity - I'm not levelling any judgements. Still, if you dont want to answer them, I completely understand.

[cruelbitch]

1. Asexuality, to simplify, entails an utter indifference to sexuality in general -- not necessarily people. What further complicates matters is that a person can still identify as heterosexual or queer and still retain elements of asexuality; they challenge the notion that lust and love can't be separated in a meaningful way. Some might ask how, particularly within the framework of wanting to dismantle gender (or the sex differences as a whole), why orientation matters to begin with, which is a concept I struggle with; it's fairly difficult to disentangle yourself from cultural trappings

[veriteblesse]

I'd love to read more about politically-based asexuality, if you know of any good sources.

[cruelbitch]

I'll try to dredge up some actual linkable resources, when I get the time. Most of my internet reading is "note-taking" accumulated into hundreds of text files, but I promise to search for something more specific.

[onthetide]

♥

I used to hold the "ha-ha Asexuals" view, then I read more about it and realized I was being a privileged fuckhead. Now I cringe when I see posts that are all "asexuals lol".

Sorry I used to be a moron, bb. :*

[cruelbitch]

Well, I'm willing to concede that it's "slippery", but I'd be hard-pressed to find more rocksteady reasons why their presence would seriously minimize the LGBT community.

You're forgiven, duh. If it helps even things out, I used to be fairly biphobic because of bizarre deception in high school concerning female partners. And MTV. Sorry 'bout that.

[nyghtinggail]

I always love the things you have to say, that said- sometimes it is just nice to make love.

[cruelbitch]

Right. Well, my concerns aren't skewering of individual sexual acts, per se. This ideology more or less encompasses the collective; the sum of all it's parts. It's an issue easily muddied.

[ex_lost_kit]

Interesting thing is that this narrative can be generalized in a lot of ways to conditions that generally aren't recognized/appreciated. It's a powerful one nonetheless.

Anyways, I envy asexuals. I have no love of the fact that I'm vulnerable to being sidetracked in life by the desire for... rutting. Nothing is more intellectually repulsive to me than the thought that people would basically see this as a worthy goal in life. Ask me why I'm indifferent to the happiness of others, and I'd point to all the stupid things which make people happy... sex being one of the main examples.

Obviously my inclination towards asexuality is not intrinsic, but I can't help but try to cultivate it.

[cruelbitch]

So is your particular brand of asexual-favoring adequately described as "viscerally enjoying sex, but not cerebrally"? Or something else entirely?

I speculated how my narrative could be generalized, and somewhat deliberately applied a primer for versatility ... which I assume is precisely my opposition's problem. It opening the door for slippery-sloping, and all that delight.

As to the rest: I basically "get" you there. Disturbing how embedded carnality is into everything, how people subsequently prioritize it, and how it can make or break otherwise workable situations.

[ex_lost_kit]

I've tried to remember whether I was actually happier alone or if I retreated from frustration.

It is disturbing, "how embedded carnality is into everything," but in my case I think it's because my choices are:
- constant reminders that I'm unwanted, or
- being a hermit, against my will

I don't have the luxury of saying things like "the suicidal are already dead." If others refused interaction with you except as Employee & Customer, what would you do?

[cruelbitch]

This is probably rhetorical, but it's a question I can't meaningfully answer without empty presumptions. There is evidently a difference in our personal disgust for carnality (and interpersonal relationships) in terms of its roots, even if the surface sentiment is paralleled. Even the powerless quality behind your statement comes from a different place than the powerlessness of mine, so it's admittedly difficult to confront your hypothetical.

I can only state that it has always been extremely important for me to be able to walk away from things, including people and baser inclinations. And that, in my own circumstances, it's remarkably easy for me to turn to stone (and to prefer this) if my rigid principles and ideals are not honored. Perhaps, truth be told, this could be regarded as a luxury in its own right, although I would consider the winding paths behind this outlook to be far from luxurious. Grotesque, even.

But as for the last part, all complex pontifications aside ... Are you okay?

[neverbeeneasy]

During the entire sf_drama wank, I had a pretty kneejerk reaction to a bunch of people on the internet comparing their asexual oppression to the ones homosexuals face. There is a scope, a magnitude of (often ignored) violence and systematic oppression that homosexuals face in which I feel it is not comparable

[cruelbitch]

I'm going to reply to your series of comments in a rather disjointed fashion. My actual first response to you is here.
"We also talked about the stupid notion that we are somehow repressed as a society, and I wish that people would understand that sexuality has no 'natural' state. It's directed and shaped and packaged and sold for everyone in all kinds of ways. Who knows what sexuality would look like without any societal influence, if it were to just ~exist naturally~."
What's interesting is that I can interpret this both ways. Upon watching a documentary about The History of Sex (which was, essentially: "Here's a List of All the Impossibly Destructive Abuses We've Inflicted Upon The Female Species and Masqueraded it as the Natural Evolution of Lust; How Marquis de Sade Was Sinisterly Awesome to Sexologists"), I noticed that beneath the pile of bizarre devices, contraptions, mandates, and clinical phrasing of the carnal actions, that we've, presently, really just given historical practices a different name. We've also only minutely

[neverbeeneasy]

"... What's interesting is that I can interpret this both ways. Upon watching a documentary about The History of Sex (which was, essentially: "Here's a List of All the Impossibly Destructive Abuses We've Inflicted Upon The Female Species and Masqueraded it as the Natural Evolution of Lust; How Marquis de Sade Was Sinisterly Awesome to Sexologists"), I noticed that beneath the pile of bizarre devices, contraptions, mandates, and clinical phrasing of the carnal actions, that we've, presently, really just given historical practices a different name.

...I don't believe these dilemmas within the heteronormative collective are rooted in hatred of sex, but rather rooted in associated contempt with the female body"Agreed, 100%. The sex men have (unless it is homosexual sex, which is threatening to the order of trying to control women through sex, and shows the innate entwining of power and sex that seems to come with masculinity) had throughout history has gone through completely different 'regulations' than women

[neverbeeneasy]

Women's bodies seem loathed. A woman's agency seems loathed. As we've discussed, this phenomena of women 'hating other women' is actually something that works to boost their 'tough' status amongst men and women alike. Male agency is invisible in a way because it seems so natural, so default, so THERE. Which is why the woman's choice is always debated. Her 'gatekeeper' choices on sexuality, the way she dresses, her reproductive choices, her choice to be a Mother or not, her choice in how she reacts to the invisible males that invite her for drinks. It's like that story on the Iraqi woman who arranged the rape of 80+ Iraqi women and then their suicide bombings. Sure, what she did was disgusting and heinous and I officially revoke her Female Membership Card, but what of all of the invisible men that raped those women? Yep, they are just that, invisible. No need to talk about what they did