i hate you so much that i grimace at the thought of having to look you in the eye.

i don't know what to do anymore. i'm so alone, and i'm so scared. There is no meaning in my life. i go through the motions everyday, come home, and try to pretend everything is okay...even when i know it's not. nothing is okay anymore. i don't suppose anything has changed all that drastically, i simply can't cope the way i used to. i used to ( Read more... )

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i want to cry. alot. but i can't. why? everytime i start ijust tell myself to suck it up. i know people say old habits die hard, but i'm begining to wonder if they die at all. i hate everything. i'm on so many medications that i've had two doctors in the last five days tell me i'm over medicated...but what can i do? i can't stop taking them. i'm ( Read more... )

so i'm going back to school? interesting. we're being taught by a bunch of dumb fucks. hmmm.... yes, i'll love it! jack and hulbert can still go fuck themselves. i just couldn't stand the thought of not seeing everybody anymore. i love all of you guys too much. i can't imagine my life without you. plus, i was under so much stress that, in a ( Read more... )

it's been a long time since i've updated this thing. i guess you could say that a lot has been goin on lately. i spent yesterday in the hospital becuase i had a really bad reaction to forgetting to take a new medication. i was pretty much acting like i had terets syndrom. i couldn't talk or walk. i basically had no control of my motor functions ( Read more... )

The Final Paradox ( Read more... )

wow. i just went to the musical up at the school. you guys did as awesome job! honestly though...that wasn't my favorite part of the night. i got to see amy, bri, and amy after the show. I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH!! you guys seriously mean the world to me! i kept my composure while i was inside, but as soon as i got into my car, i just started bawling ( Read more... )

i am so fucking pissed off right now that the only way i can think of to say this is to put it in a letter so here it goes ( Read more... )

friends only...sorry...post a comment and i'll add you.