[Fic] "At the Very Ports We Blow" (Premovie, 4/5)

[cryogenia]

Title: At the very ports we blow (Part 4 of 5)
Author: cryogenia
Pairing: None (gen)
Rating: R (rating has increased)
Prompt: For 7stages, set 3, #4: "draw a line in the sand"
Spoiler level: Post-series, pre-movie
Warnings for this fic: References to ethnic tensions, both fictional and historical

A/N: Huge chapter is huuuuge D: One more to go (I hope)! (And

Comments

[caitlinneko]

Again I say: ILU

A few parts of this chapter killed me - the Einstein revelation, and the talk between Ed and Jean, especially.
Love on you for using the French, too - the second phrase is fine, but I'm a bit iffy about the first one. I get what was being said, but something about the grammar of it bugs me a bit - that's probably just me, though...X_x

Sequel? Really? And to think I was considering begging you...XD;;
I'd like to see it remain a gen fic, though I certainly wouldn't mind if it became HeiEd. But I think I'd rather see them remain close friends and all :0

I really have no idea what I'm saying any more.
So I'm going to go...do...something..O.o

Looking forward to the next chapter, and can't wait to see Alfons again! XD

[cryogenia]

XDD If you can fix the grammar, by all means do :) I was going to have my French buddy give me a line (normally I don't throw in random sentences from other languages, but I figured she'd throw me a line) but er, she disappeared for a million years then and I wanted the chapter out. I will be the first to admit I have only a passing knowledge of French - as in, it passed and I missed it.

[caitlinneko]

French is my second language, though I'm not quite fluent in it, yet XD;;
C'est la poêle qui se moque du chaudron.
I'm not sure whether or not I'm right, but...I think the 'se' is unnessicary. That is typically used for reflexive verbs, or when the other subject is not mentioned, and thus is not needed in this sentence. It just comes out as 'iffy' for me, I guess XP;;

[kiwilite]

WOW!...This whole chapter.....just WOW!

[cryogenia]

Thanks, I'm glad you like it <3

[cryogenia]

<3333 I love cake too! I am glad you think this is delicious <3

[sayhello]

Hi. I was out of town for the weekend, and I took along a printout of this story so far, to read on the plane.

I am mightily impressed by this story. Your Ed's inner voice is wonderful, both arrogant and supremely insecure. I can really see the learning that Ed is going through, finding out that, sometimes, you have to actually *deal* with people, and that learning to understand them helps you deal with them. He seems surprised to realize that others have feelings and stories of their own, and not *everything* revolves around him. It's a humbling experience.

I'm looking forward to the further humbling Ed likely has coming his way as he goes to deal with his situation with Alfons.

I think some of my favorite parts, though, are when Ed realizes just how much he relied on Al to be the one who was good with people, to keep him in check, and to keep him from antagonizing others too much. Without Al around, he's having to learn to do it for himself, painful as that education is.

Looking forward to the rest of the story!Hewene

[cryogenia]

Thank you - I am honored and amazed you'd spend that much paper printing this thing out XD; I'm glad you see what I'm trying to do with Ed - he's equal parts arrogant and insecure, and that's a hard headspace to get into XD;

[sayhello]

he's equal parts arrogant and insecure, and that's a hard headspace to get into XD;

Well, you are quite successful at it! Carry on!

Hewene

[pockygirl]

-ahem-
squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

i'll probably wait until whatever time you finish this whole thing to reveiw, because other people have already said the specific things for this chapter.

but people like you are the reasons i stay in the FMA fandom. deep, well written stories with excellent characterization and novel approaches to the world and characters.

go you.

[cryogenia]

Thank you so much. You have no idea how inspired I am to finish the last chapter RIGHT NOW :)